White Christmas (and back safe in Sighi)

Location: In the passenger seat of P.'s VW van, right on the border of Switzerland, Germany, and Austria, about 3:30pm on Christmas Day, 2010.

We are driving pretty slow because of the snow, and we were even in a bit of a traffic jam as we went around Zurich. Can you imagine? A traffic jam on Christmas Day? Anyway, pretty is the right word as we drive through snow-covered Switzerland and toward the mountains of Germany and Austria. Peter was saying that it did not feel like Christmas because most of the snow had melted when we arrived, so he is pleased with the two days of constant snowfall we have had. I do not mind either. God made snow, and it reflects His beauty. Even if we must drive a bit slower, the roads are not too bad, and it feels good to be on the road toward home.

Let me tell you a bit about our Swiss visit. We knew from the start that it would be a short trip, and it became even shorter as we packed it full of visits. For example, we visited several persons from Peter's church, and we surprised his mom and brother who did not know he was home for Christmas! We met a ninety-plus-year-old couple who collect donations of clothing from their area for people all over the world; she is an official sock-knitting Swiss granny, and her husband created a contraption to wind wool thread into balls of yarn. We ate lunch with them at a senior center. We had tea and merengues with P.'s "boss" and dinner with his accountant, who lives in the house against which the grandstands for the ski competition have been built. Not only did we visit friends and supporters, but we also picked up donations of warm clothes and a few other items for Romania. In fact, our van is packed full of socks and sweaters and the like! Even today, we made three stops on our way out of Switzerland to pick up a few things, so only now does it seem like we are actually on the road.

Tuesday's drive from Romania was pretty uneventful. We had a Romanian friend from Munich with us, and we will probably stop for a coffee break at his house in a couple of hours as we pass through. With him along, I was freer to sleep, because he could keep P. awake at the wheel. I was thankful, because after being free of headaches for five or six weeks, I was nearly knocked flat by a terrible one that began in the wee hours of Monday and lasted all day. One of my collegues did my part of the program for me because I was so miserable, and then immediately afterward we left for our road trip. Thanks be to God, though, that after sleeping for two or three hours and taking another dose of pain killers, He healed my headache and I was eager to be a part of our Swiss adventure. We had good conversation, studied the letter of 1 Timothy together, and drove through rain instead of snow until we safely arrived at our destination 26 hours later.

In Adelboden, we stayed in the mountains with a (bio-)farm family. They have milk cows (maybe thirty or forty head) and around 500 chickens (for eggs). They were wonderful hosts, and we had fun with their three children. For example, one afternoon I buried the two boys in the snow after we had a bit of a snowball fight. A highlight was certainly Christmas Eve dinner, carefully prepared by mother and daughter, and then singing Christmas carols with a guitar around a Charlie Brown Christmas tree decked out with real candles. The six-year-old tore into the presents like my mom does on Christmas morning!

No, my vacation was not much of a vacation--three days of back-to-back rendez-vous sandwiched between two endless car trips. However, I knew it would be that way, and I do not regret it. It was good for me to get away from the timeless ministry world in Sighisoara, and the time with my friend P. is priceless. Besides, the whole trip has been full of answered prayers, such as my healed headache, or when I was indecisive about buying some second-hand ice skates, and God clearly showed me I should wait.

So now I have a yodelling Swiss man next to me telling me to "just relax" as we drive through a tunnel that will catapult us out into Germany. What does God have in store for us? Good question. I am guessing a full night and morning of open road, maybe some snow, and a week of intense Christmas outreaches as the second-in-command for my Belgian commandante. (I am exaggerating a bit, but my Belgian collegue has everything outlined for the coming week, and she emailed me my assignments yesterday. I respect her and enjoy working with her, which will make next week's circus more pleasant. Oh, and she assigned me to be the kitchen contact; I think I should have to taste the food before I can tell the team that it is ready!)

So, "Eastward, Ho!" The sun is going down somewhere in the clouds behind us, and we are following the Spirit forward. What does God have in store for you? You have followed my journey to Switzerland and back with this blog. If you are interested in following my spiritual journey a bit, take a look at God's instructions for His household, found in 1 Timothy (chapters 1 to 6). It relates very closely to God's letter to His household (via Paul) in Ephesians (which is where Timothy was when Paul wrote 1 Timothy to him), and it also relates to knowing God's will, which is outlined nicely in 1 Thessalonians 5. Isaiah 59 is a great chapter to read from a Christmas perspective, especially when you see how it is reflected in Paul's New Testament writings in Ephesians 6.

Dive into God's Word, and journey with me. I do not want to hear any complaining that God is not speaking to you, or that you are bored--now you have plenty of reading material, and I guarantee it will be instructive and edifying. As you read and journey with me, I bless you in the Name of our Jesus, the Christ. Merry Christmas from the European Front!

Merry Swissmas!

Location: A home-office in Aldeboden, Switzerland, at 9:00am on Christmas Eve Day (24 December)

Merry Christmas from Switzerland's home of the World Cup Ski Competition (it will happen again in about two weeks). I have not been able to get online for about a week, and I hope to fill you in soon and to catch up on emails. But after another 24-hour drive (to Romania) and then a week of Christmas outreaches with 70 visitors, and a train trip to Budapest and back, it may be a moment before I am able to email you. Thanks for your holiday patience! Until then, I wanted to let you know that I am alive and well, eating homemade butter and Swiss cheese, meeting sock-knitting Swiss grannies, and now getting some fresh snow just in time for Christmas. I am praying for you, and I bless you in the Name of our Jesus, especially as you enter into 2011--may your life unfold according to the will of our most high God!

I'm Not Cool!

Location: Homeschool classroom in the Village of C., nearly 10am on the 18th of December.

How is your French? I am sitting with my 15-year-old student who is taking his French test. To de-stress him a bit, I played him one of my favorite Christian songs: "I'm Not Cool" by Scott Krippayne. "I'm not cool, and that's okay! My God loves me anyway!" He likes it, too! In a couple of hours, my evangelism teammates will arrive from town and we will do a Christmas program here in the village. (Some of them are much cooler than I am, so we have fun working together in front of the kids!) After that, we will head back to town and do a Christmas program for our kindergarteners and their parents.

Tomorrow is looking like this: pick up village children for church using the ministry van, teach the teenagers' Sunday school class, sing in Church, get back to my village and finish preparations for my trip to Switzerland, and sing in another Christmas concert with our Gospel choir. Monday will be a bit calmer with English lessons in the morning and a Christmas program in the evening, but then I will leave immediately after that for Switzerland.

The snow is beautiful (especially in the villages and countrysides), and everyone is bustling to get ready for Christmas. Yesterday we did a Christmas program, and a Romanian fella I had never met said that the best part was the Romanian language that my Belgian collegue and I used on stage. She and I took it as a compliment that he wanted us to make a CD so that he could play it every time he needed to laugh! But humorous or not, we got the job done!

I want to wish you a merry Christmas. I assure you that by God's grace I have been able to remain quiet peaceful in the midst of the swirl of chaos around me, and I am looking forward to celebrating this holiday with Jesus. Meanwhile, with the roadtrip west and then hosting 70 guests between Christmas and New Year's and then probably a train-trip to Budapest and back, I may have very limited contact with you for a while--even my cell phone probably will not work in Switzerland. If you do not hear from me, know that I am blessed and highly favored of the Lord. May you, also, be blessed and highly favored of the Lord!

Do not worry about me; I am not too homesick. I have become fairly accustomed to celebrating holidays with whomever God gives me wherever I am; after all, for me, "home" is where God is. Of course I would like to see my family and friends, but I was blessed to visit them in October, and they know that I love them. They also understand that the Lord has led me here, and the rejoice with me in what He is doing in me. He is teaching me so much. So wherever you are, celebrate your Christmas with Jesus and the people God loves, and love them as much as He does. May the way you spend your holiday season bringing our Lord the glory He deserves!

Merry Christmas in the Name of our Jesus!

Playing Catch-Up

(Location: On my bed in my warm little house in the village of C., Romania, 7:30pm on the evening of the 14th of December)

It is high time that I fill you in on the past week or two. Today and yesterday have been catch-up days anyway, so it is only fitting. Last week I could not teach because of our busy schedule, so this week we are doing double French lessons and double English lessons. I also gave myself a haircut, updated last months budget record, and caught up on writing emails. As soon as I write this post, most things will be caught up after a busy beginning to the month of December.

Two weekends ago, I visited my former coworker, I., near Sibiu. Thanks for praying for him; life is hard for him right now. He is lonely, and he was so happy to have a visitor that he asked me millions of questions but never let me more than half-answer, so finally I stopped trying! He has nearly nothing, but he bought groceries especially for me to show me royal hospitality. We talked all day Saturday after I got there, worked on adjusting a watch band that he needed to shrink, and sang together. The next morning, I got to preach (in Romanian!) at his church, and we had a nice fellowship. Outside, we had received the first real snow of the year, and it was beautiful!

Before I had to catch a train to Sighisoara, we decided to visit Sibiu. We considered hitch-hiking (after all, he taught me!), but ended up walking 8 kilometers. We stopped by the Christmas market downtown, and had hot chocolate. Then we headed to the train station to await our respective trains.

We had talked about how many people I know in Romania, because I knew one of my friends was also in Sibiu that day, though I did not get to see her. I could not remember how many people I knew in Sibiu. However, we ran into a youth group from Sighisoara we knew, so we said hello. But the real surprise came after waiting for nearly two hours in the train station. A girl came in an looked at me funny, before saying my name with surprise. I had been wondering why she was looking so intently, until I recognized her as someone with whom I volunteered this summer at the camp for people with disabilities. What a fun surprise to see her there!

That following week flew by. We finished packing our 5,000 pairs of rubber boots with 10,000 pairs of knit socks. We presented our first Christmas programs of the season, and they went really well. One was quite a distance away to the north, with my friends from Targu Mures. The next was in my village of V., which was a huge contrast in setting--a five-hundred-year old church building under construction without heat, compared to the local community center complete with chairs and stage. But toward the end of the week, winter weather chased away the warmer temperatures. We, too, were chased out of Sighisoara, heading to Hunedoara County were we did three more Christmas programs. They went well, too, though I was sorry I was unable to visit my good friends when we were so close by! It was a full two days, and I drove the whole way, making it tiring, too.

A highlight from the trip was our time with some Messianic-Jew missionaries who hosted us the first night. I got to spend some "guy time" with the husband while my team of ladies did some work with his wife. We had deep discussions about the Bible and religion, and we got to celebrate the Sabbath meal with them (Shabbat Shalom). I also got to meet his Romanian son-in-law, who is helping an American gal from Atlanta (I met her, too) record an album. I appreciated the time with people who take their faith so seriously. How many people do you know (even among church workers and missionaries) who spend their time thinking about God and His ways (Philippians 4:8)?

After we returned to Sighisoara, the snow really set in, and I enjoyed sitting by the wood stove while one of my collegues went sledding with the neighborhood kids. Then we did a candlelight march with Christians from throughout the city, singing carols and praying at each place we stopped downtown. Yesterday morning, I finally made it "home" for the first time in a week, coming by bus on slippery roads at 6:15 in the morning. There was ice in my water bucket inside my house, so I got my stove going and have not let the fire go out since.

This is transition week. The American students left town today, and others of my friends and collegues will be leaving for the holidays. Meanwhile, the end of the week will speed up again, catapulting me into a quick roadtrip to Switzerland for Christmas with P. from Targu Mures, and then back in time to host 70 people coming to help with our blitz of outreaches that happens between Christmas and New Year's. Then there may be a quick trip to Budapest and back before I settle into a slower January.

I am excited about January as I have been praying a lot about what will come. I have some decisions to make, and God has been teaching me so much about being a godly man. He has been showing me what kinds of things I tend to let distract me, and teaching me how to let my will fall to the wayside so that His will lives in my heart. I am tired of trying to juggle other people's needs with my desires and preferences mixed in, while struggling to maintain healthy relationships with God and with the people around me. Instead, I am just nestling up to my Father, having understood that I cannot go wrong if I go to Him, fixing my eyes on the Author and Perfector of my faith. I love spending time in the Word and in prayer, and I am making decisions for January and beyond that will allow me to do more of that. The greatest Christian service we do is worth very little or nothing if it causes us to neglect or forsake our relationship with our Jesus. If we can no longer wallow in the Word, if we can no longer soak in His Presence or embrace prayer time with the Holy Spirit, then we are running the race in vain.

What is important to you? What are your priorities? Are you trying to please other people? Is your every action determined by other peoples' needs and wants? Are you racing after pleasure or happiness or peace, only to find it slipping through your fingers like the wind? Are you stressed out by the service you offer others, by the ministry God has given you?

Do not forsake your first love--turn to your Father, God, and enjoy Him. Let Him bless you, and thank Him, praise Him, worship Him. Converse with Him, rest with Him, and love Him. Your life will be empty or meaningless unless you do. But when you run back to God and let Him sweep you up in His arms, everything else will fall into place. Oh, how grand it is to be caught up in the arms of God!

Maybe it is time for you, too, to get caught up!

Here and There

Location: By the wood stove in our ministry base's great room, at 5pm on the 12 of December.

This is just a quick note before I run off to sing in the choir for the city's Candlelight March. We are back from Hunedoara and had a great trip, but very quick. Not only did I not get to see my friends in the area, but I also drove the whole way (with van and trailer) down and back, so I did not get one second to catch up on emails. Today was a slower day, and I caught up on several; I hope to work more on them this week.

Meanwhile, I wanted to let you know that I will be in the village most of the week, which means you may not hear from me. Then things ramp up again at the end of the week with a coupld of Christmas outreaches, and then I am probably off to Switzerland for a quick Christmas road-trip with a friend of mine before we get swamped by short-term mission projects between Christmas and New Year's. Also, it is looking like I may be in Budapest for New Year's again (like I was in college one year), but I will explain that more if it happens.

Thanks for the great emails I have received from you in the past few days, and hello to my family who is gathered without me for the wedding. I am praying for the marriage and each member of the family--may the Name of Jesus be exalted in each!

I bless you in His great Name!

It's Official

Location: Kitchen of ministry base in Sighisoara, nearly 8:30pm on the evening of December 9.

This photo is a picture of a little boy who helped us set up for an outreach we did on Tuesday--in fact, it was our first of the season. (He really took me seriously when I told him he could use the floor-tile pattern to straighten the rows of chairs!) So it is official: our Christmas outreaches have begun! We did another one yesterday, in my precious village of V. Tomorrow we will leave for Hunedoara County, where we will do three more in the next two days. Oh, and one other thing is official. After a long day today, we finished preparing our 5000 pairs of rubber boots for distribution!

When we head out on our four-hour drive tomorrow, I plan to take my laptop. If I am not driving, hopefully I can catch up on emails during the car ride, as well as update you with a blog post telling about this week. Maybe I can prepare my photos for posting, too. Sorry I have fallen behind. Things are going pretty well though; as always, thank you for your prayers!

We had some snow last weekend, but the sun melted it the next day. Today and yesterday was tee-shirt whether if you were digging a ditch outside in the sun (like I was yesterday) or packing boots in a cinder-block garage (like I was today), but now the temperture plummetted drastically as wind gusts bring tomorrow's wintry weather.

I do not know if you are ready for winter, but it is coming (for those of you in the northern hemisphere). I do not know if you are ready for Christmas, but it is coming (for those of you in the Christian or Christianized culture). I do not know if you are ready for Jesus, but He is coming! If you are not ready for Him, do not wait any longer! He may come back tonight, and I hope finds you a familiar soul waiting for Him with eager expectation!

I am ready for Jesus! Maranatha, come quickly, Lord! If Jesus comes tonight, I want to be the first to sing His praises when He appears. If He does not come tonight, watch for another post, or a response to your email that you thought was rotting in my inbox.

I bless you in the Name of our coming Jesus!

"Shortcuts"

Location: Train to Sibu, next to a grandmother and a little boy who is fascinated in EVERYTHING because he almost never travels by train; it is 12:45pm on the 4th of December.

I was not planning to write a blog post now, but I have to because of the past 24 hours. I am on my way to visit my I.--not the same I. with whom I spent last weekend, but my other former collegue I. So instead of going toward Brasov as I did last weekend, I am going in the opposite direction, to Sibiu.

Have you ever known someone without patience who wants to get to his destination NOW? I have met a lot of "Christians" like that; they know that God's Way is straight and narrow, and they hop on and march after Jesus as directly as possible. Sometimes I like to travel like that, too, but I must say that hitch-hiking helps to cure me of that. In fact, it is good for me to be reminded that even though the Way is narrow, it is not really so straight; neither is it a high-speed interstate highway! The Way passes through the lives and hearts of many people, stops for conversations at a well, passes through tombs where demon-possessed men wander, winds through the countryside where five thousand hungry men gather, leaves a Roman cross in the rearview mirror, and eventually meanders into eternity. If we hurry forward without taking time to speak with a stranger we encounter not far from Emaeus, we may miss the very Jesus we claim to be "following." Following goes after; it does not run ahead.

I taught French and English an extra day this week, meaning that I had an extra day of hitch-hiking. I arrived in town yesterday morning without problem, rolling in the cab of an enormous semi truck. After spending most of my day in a garage preparing boots for our winter outreach, interrupted by singing for half-an-hour in an outdoor Christmas concert in the citadel, I headed home. Yes, hitch-hiking gets harder at night, but to this day, the Lord has always provided the right ride, so I prayed and started flagging down cars. It was not long before a van driver picked me up, but when we got to the intersection outside of town, he started heading the wrong way! Quickly I stopped him and realized he had heard me incorrectly--I did not want to go to Targu Mures! Once again I was on the side of the road. I waited long enough to watch a fox trot around the roundabout without getting hit by a car, and then a friendly man going to Sibiu picked me up. Too bad I was not going directly to Sibiu then! But as I had to teach in the morning, I got out at D., my half-way point home. It was not cold yet, but by the time a waited a long hour, it started to get chilly. Finally a young man picked me up and was thrilled to practice speaking English with an American--he went out of his way to drive me home! Both men gave me their phone numbers; how is that for Romanian hospitality!

You see, that is how God's Way goes. Maybe I think waiting for an hour on the side of the road is a shame, but my Father knows with whom I need to meet. Besides, when I leave my plans in His hands, how can I complain when He does what He knows is best? But it gets better...

Morning came early after my late evening last night, building a fire and eating dinner after I finally arrived home. I taught French and English, and then prepared to leave for Sibiu. As I reached my hitch-hiking spot, the rain started to fall, and I was none too sorry that I had elected to wear my heavy winter coat. Yet as my waiting time grew, I began to be a bit concerned, knowing that I. would be expecting me to get off a certain train and that I might miss that train. My village, C., and D., the halfway point to Sighisoara are closer to Sibiu than Sighisoara, but I planned to catch the train in Sighisoara to go to Sibiu.

When I finally caught a ride, I was thankful, but I was disappointed to learn that he was not going anywhere nearer to my destination. He left me in D., and looking at the clock, I decided to hitch-hike toward Sibiu, figuring I could take the train from somewhere instead of "backtracking" to Sighisoara. So just like last night, I found myself praying and waiting for a ride in D. Suddenly, I was surprised by someone on the other side of the road honking at me and stopping--I did not recognize the car. It was the man who had just let me out of his car ten or fifteen minutes ago! He asked me what I was doing and recommended that I go to Sighisoara, that I would have more options there; he had run his errand and now was going to Sighisoara. So again I found myself in his passenger seat, this time speeding to Sighisoara. Once there, he went out of his way to take me directly to the train station. Grateful, I thanked him and lost no time marching in; I was unsure of the exact departure time of my train, but I thought I could make it.

The lady at the ticket window looked up from her desk when I asked for a ticket, and said, "I do not have time to sell you a ticket, it is leaving now--hurry!" As I thanked her and spun around, the girl cleaning the floor said, "Run!" I ran! As I was rounding the corner, the conductor's whistle sounded, and I could see the doors closing in my face. But my imagination was wrong; I jumped inside just in time! Who did I find sitting right there except my good friend, M.! I did not have an opportunity to greet her or sit down though, because I had to buy a ticket from the conductor. As I attempted to, I saw M. shaking her head "no" over his shoulder! She was trying to tell me that he was ripping me off since I am a foreigner. I hesitated, and he left me to do something else, telling me he would come back. M. asked if I needed a girlfriend so I could get charged the Romanian price, so I let her take my arm and sit down with me.

I then found out that she was going to C., where I had started from! I knew that she often goes there on Saturdays, but I thought she was already there this morning. (She had sang in the concert with me yesterday, and I figured she rode back with our friend from C., H., and had spent the night.) She also told me that H. was picking her up from the train station in D. I had not realized that this train stops in D.--I could have gone to that train station when I was hitch-hiking there, instead of having to go back to Sighisoara. Moreover, had I known that H. was driving to D., I could have ridden with her directly, saving me a damp morning of hitch-hiking in circles! But remember, we cannot take shortcuts on God's Way!

The conductor came back and took my "girlfriend's" ticket, then continued on his way. That gave me time to explain to M. where I was going--she knows my friend, I., too. Then she realized that I was not being overcharged by the conductor; she had assumed that I was going home to C. But by then, we had entered a new adventure: the Gypsy lady across the way was going to be kicked off the train because she did not have a ticket that would legally take her and her baby to the hospital they were headed toward. (She is a widow with several children who lives in one of the villages I work in, but she did not know me.) She asked M. for money, and M. turned to me to ask if I wanted to pray for them. Then she offered our services. By then the conductor came back and got involved. By the end of the ten minutes that it took to reach, everyone was happy. My girlfriend, M., hopped off the train, and I saw H. through the window; how funny that this morning when we had school together with her son, I had no idea that we would cross paths later in D.! The conductor no longer felt the need to throw E. and baby N. off the train, so they became my new best friends until we reached their destination an half-hour later. Even more exciting for me was seeing the other lady in our row transform from quietly watching everything unfold to smiling and interacting with us, wishing us all a nice day when she left.

You see, when God works, everyone notices. This morning, when I was praying about my day and giving my plans to God, I had no idea what my day would be like. I certainly did not realize I could have taken a "shortcut" directly to D. and then straight to Sibiu from there. But neither did I expect to be going in circles all morning, re-encountering helpful people I knew over and over again. Yet hear I find myself on the train I planned to take, on time, with I. waiting at the end of the line. Had I gone my way, I would have been here, too, but without all of the blessings that happened to me and the folks around me all morning. I like traveling with Jesus--going His Way! I always try to pray (usually silently) for the people who pick me up when I am hitch-hiking. Since leaving town last night, I had the opportunity to pray for four drivers, a lady and her baby, a train conductor, a fellow passenger, a grandmother and her train-happy grandson, and my good friend, M., just to name a few! Plus I got to see a fox, rendez-vous with the girlfriend I did not know I had, and catch the train I feared I might miss. It kind of makes you wonder what my Father has in store for the rest of my weekend, does it not?

As my train slows down and the Christmas season speeds up, I pray that you will take the time out of your hurry and look at the design of every snowflake that falls, that you would exchange extra smiles with the people around you, that you would lend a helping hand when you can, that you would sit at the feet of Jesus when others feel like they constantly have to be preparing, and that you would follow Jesus whichever way He winds through the crowd, through the month, or through life. Next time you are waiting in line or snowed in or have to go out of your way, thank the Lord and use the time for His glory! His Way is best!

I bless you in the Name of our Jesus!

Weakness

(I wrote this a couple of nights ago. I am happy and healthy and very blessed, even though the tone of this post may be a bit blue. The problem with my Romanian bank card is being resolved, and I am sure I will resolve the other one at some point, too. If you have not read the previous post, you may find interesting the teaching the Lord gave me about dying kings. I got to preach again yesterday, December 1, in V., this time about Jepthah in Judges 11. Thanks for your prayers--we have a great God!)

Location: Ministry base in Sighisoara, Romania, nearing 11:00pm on the last night of November 2010

Tomorrow is Romania's national holiday, kind of like the USA's Independance Day. I plan to head to the village of V. again, as I often do on Wednesdays. I. is going to come with me, God-willing. He came back to my village of C. with me--my first overnight visitor survived!--and then he has been in Sighisoara with me today. It has been fun having him around.

I. is Romanian Gypsy and a good friend of mine. He is an encouragement to me, because I can see God at work in him. It is long story, but I had to borrow some money from him because the ATM ate my local debit card when I put in the wrong PIN. I did not ask, he just offered. Does that fit your stereotype of a Gypsy? Maybe you will think twice about using the term "gypped." These people are often thought of as liars, cheats, thieves, etc., so it makes me proud to tell you about my Gypsy brother-in-Christ who reflects God's glory. I was treated like a king when I visited his family Sunday night, fed sarmale (cabbage rolls) and marmaliga (corn mush), and enjoyed hiking with him in Brasov. (There is a big "hollywood" sign on the hill; it reads "Brasov." We hiked up even behind the sign, and we could see the whole city!) He has helped me out many times, and though he likes to tease me, he is trustworthy and true.

Thus, God used him to really impact me last night. You see, when he arrived at my house in C., he took one look and said, "Wow, Jeremy, I do not know if I could live like this!" You see, my humble abode and simple lifestyle are even simpler than his, though his family is by no means well-off. Plus, he was comparing his idea of America with what he was seeing, and he could imagine the gaping difference between the two cultures.

That statement affected me positively, because it reminded me that the LORD knows what he is doing. He showed me that I have come a long way, and that he is preparing me to live in an even more rustic setting. I know that most of my friends and family would be surprised by my homey living space, but for I. to be surprised . . . that is something! I thank the Lord for the humbling He is doing in me; it is very needed and far from done!

Speaking of humbling, I was very humbled tonight. I had a long-overdue talk with someone with whom I do not see eye-to-eye, though I try hard to love this collegue. I pray for this collegue, and I try to offer respect and compassion, though I frequently fail. After this talk, I was worn out. I thanked the Lord for the progress we made in the talk, though I still hope for more reconciliation and resolution. I was very honest and open which helps a lot, even though it is not comfortable.

After that, I had dinner with a friend--with a guy friend, which is refreshing when I work with so many ladies. I have been praying for more guy friends, and because of my conversation with my other collegue, I experimented with opening my heart a little more to this friend. Though I am grateful for his friendship, it did not work very well, as he made a joke, just showing me that I still need to pray for some male Christian friends who are also close-by and willing to lend an ear.

Then I opened a couple of letters I got, one from my mom with a photo from my grandmother who recently went to heaven, and another from my newly-wed sister and brother-in-law. Unexplicably, I suddenly burst into tears, thankful that I could sob alone with Jesus where I was sitting, uninterrupted by any collegues or passers-by. It felt good to cry, though I could not really say why I was; I just had a tangle of feelings inside of me that needed release.

I am only telling you this for one reason.

Anyone can be strong with other people. It is easy to be strong with friends and with strangers. It is easy to put on a strong face, a strong act, and face the problems of the world like a hero. I know, because I have done it. I know, because I have sat in my simple little house in Romania wearing a strong face when nothing seems to be going right.

However, it is harder to be weak when others are around. Do you have someone who is a good enough friend that will let you be weak in his or her presence? We need people like that. We need those with whom we can be vulnerable. We need those to whom we can talk, with whom we can cry, upon whom we can unload and release what is pent up inside.

That is what Jesus was looking for when He took Peter, James, and John further into Gethsemane with Him. He wanted some dear friends before whom He could be weak. He was looking for somewhere where it was safe to be weak; He had to be strong the rest of the time. Do you think Jesus ever wondered if He could make it? Do you think He asked Himself if He could go through with the whole crucifixion plan? I do; I think He had some doubts. I think He felt weak and worn, and that He was literally dying for support.

I have chosen to be weak and vulnerable with you. I do not want you to pity me or to feel sorry for me. In fact, I feel happy (and a little tired now because it is late). But I want you to see Jesus, and I think that you might see Him better through a humbled, weak me than through the super-missionary-man that some of you seem to think I must be. There is nothing superhuman or super-faithful about being me. The question is not about strength or skills, it is about obedience and surrender.

I am about to surrender to sleep. I like the feeling, because it reminds me that I surrendered once to Jesus, that in fact I do it again everyday. Have you ever uncovered your weaknesses and surrendered to Jesus? I promise, with Him, it is safe to be weak.

Thanks for your love and prayers. I am praying for you, too. And remember, in our weakness, He is strong!