Saturday, August 21, 2010

Relationships, Continued (2 of 3)



(This photo is from "hay week" last month! Yes, I was as tired and hot and grimy as I looked, but I enjoyed that work!)

Location: On my bed in my house, still the 15th of August, now almost 10pm

Bine (Romanian for "good."), by now it is bedtime. The milk run took a bit longer than usual, and I had more I wanted to write about relationships, but the last post came to such a nice close that I decided to finish it there. So now I have washed my dishes, and I will share a bit more before I doze off.

Recently, the Lord taught me about wisdom. As you probably know, wisdom is knowledge plus experience. In other words, wisdom means knowing how best to use the knowledge you have. The Bible says (in James, Chapter 1) that if we lack wisdom, all we need to do is ask for it, and God will give it to us. I have heard many, many people pray for wisdom--so why are there so few wise people in this world? The Lord was teaching me recently that often when we pray for wisdom, as an answer He provides us with experiences to live through. These experiences then can be added to our knowledge, resulting in more wisdom. However, these experiences are not promised to be easy!

I have learned a lot in 28 years, and I still have a lot to learn. To learn quicker, I make it my goal to learn from my mistakes, only making each mistake once. I also try to learn from other people's mistakes; why should I make them, too?

As you can hopefully see in my previous post, I believe that relationships are holy. I also told you that our Lord has called me to turn myself inside-out before you, that you my learn from my private life how God wraps us in His grace. Finally, you will remember that cultural differences make each kind of communication more complicated.

Thus, I have an important piece of wisdom to share with you, hard learned in my past and imperfectly practiced to this day. Man was not intended to be alone. That is why God created the Church; we need one another. But when you hear such a phrase, you probably think about marriage. (In fact, did I tell you we sang at a wedding last weekend? We were the choir positioned behind the bride and groom, an Orthodox Romanian bride and a Catholic American groom, married by a German Lutheran Saxon priest in, shall we say, less-than-perfect English. The wedding, set in the beautiful garden of a centuries-old fortified church with a town festival taking place on the other side of the stone wall, reminded me a cheesy movie. Nonetheless, in this wedding, the priest quoted Scripture, saying, "It is not good for man to be alone.") We need friends and family, and some people think they need a spouse.

I say this with the utmost respect for marriage, yet as an unmarried man. It is dangerous to be in a beautiful country with beautiful woman if you are an unmarried man. No matter that I am not particularly strong or handsome (Though, thanks to my life of labor I am hearing, "You are so tan!" for the first time in my life. They do not know it is merely a farmers' tan!), I easily make friends with girls. In fact, all of my life I have had more friends who are girls than boys. Believe it or not, a young gal in my choir looked at me the other day while we were waiting to sing at the wedding, and asked me quite seriously, in English, "Do you want to get married?" I knew what she meant, but I said, "Um...not right now, thank you." You see, thanks to experience and knowledge from the Lord, and wisdom from a mentor of mine, I have learned that in order to keep relationships holy, we need to be keenly aware of our cross-gender interactions.

It does not matter if you are married or not. Men and women were created to attract one another, yet God reserved the expression of that attraction for marriage alone. This goes beyond sex; I am referring to all sorts of intimate conversation, prayer, quality time, etc. Outside of marriage, it is unhealthy for men and women to be in close relationship with one another. This is why so many pastors have fallen to temptation and find themselves in adulterous relationships. This is why so many teenagers are having children. This is why Hollywood and tabloids have so much material for raunchy movies and publication.

I enjoy being a man; in fact, I love being Prince Charming. But it is far more important for me to be a man of God. That is why I am writing this. I endeavor to bring God glory in every relationship I have. If you are an unmarried girl, that means I will do my best to love and pray for you from a distance, but I will not become close friends with you through frequent or lengthy phone conversations or emails or flirtatious behavior. If you are a married woman, I will love you and pray for you through my relationship with your husband, with whom you are one flesh. If you are a man, I will exhort you to live as a godly example to other men of humble strength and loving authority, and as a model of what a woman should be able to expect from her man of God in marriage. If you are a reader, I will do my best to write even uncomfortable or unpopular truth so that together we can obey our Lord and bring Him glory.

Help me to do this. As the Church, we must be intentional about supporting and encouraging one another in healthy and edifying ways. Pray for me, please, as I seek men of God near me in Romania, with whom I can pray and laugh and serve and live for the glory of God. Pray for me, that I might let Christ live freely in me, so that men and women alike love Him instead of me.

Be holy, Friends. I bless you in the Name of our Jesus!
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A Rose From Home

A Rose From Home

My Story (As prepared for my church congregation this spring--2009)


I have a story to tell you. I am the main character, but the story is not about me. I have traveled several parts of the world, but my adventure has been closer to home. I am twenty-six years old. My story begins like many of yours…

I grew up going to church. I had been born into a family who labeled themselves “Christian,” in a country that labels itself “Christian.” Every Sunday found me attending a worship service and Sunday school in a mainline denomination church. I served as an acolyte, attended Vacation Bible School, helped my dad count and record the offering money, sang in the youth choir, was a leader in the youth group, and occasionally served as liturgist. Baptized as an infant, I was confirmed at the age of twelve, thus becoming an “official” member of the church. Then, hurt by the church, my family left to find another.

Have you ever been hurt by the Church?

After months of searching, we settled into a very large independent church. Things were different there, and I was quickly welcomed and at home among new friends that truly had a passion for Jesus. The Word of God was taught boldly from the pulpit, and I was introduced to a missions-aware lifestyle. So it was with regret that I said goodbye only a couple of years later to move with my family to another church. I purposely remained aloof, not wanting to make new friendships before I left for college a year later. Besides, I was loosing my faith—or so I thought—and I didn’t want anyone to know. I was asking scary questions like “Is there really a God?” and, if so, “Is He the Christian God?” and “Would I be Christian if I had been born in another part of the world?”

Have you ever asked yourself unsettling questions about what you believe?

So I headed into college under a cloud of confusion that only worsened for the next two years. Though I didn’t know what I believed anymore, I continued to go to church every Sunday, and to help lead worship in chapel. Most importantly, even during this questioning, I continued my morning habit of daily study of the Bible. I had begun at age twelve, reading at first a chapter per day, then ten minutes each morning, then an half-hour, and so on. So, only by the grace of the very God I doubted, I remained anchored in His Word and in His community, though I felt like a fake most of the time. Since then I have learned that “fake” is the worst insult the world can give us; that is why the label of “hypocrite” is so offensive.

Have you ever felt like a fake?

Six weeks with missionaries in South Africa followed by a year in France began to teach me what life with God is all about. I began rebuilding my faith, this time it belonged to me, in contrast to me borrowing the faith of my parents, church, or anyone else. In my parent’s basement in 2003, on either Christmas Eve or New Year’s Eve, I invited Jesus to live in me; perhaps I had done so before, but I didn’t recall—but since 2003, I have never forgotten that moment. Unfortunately, nothing changed. I continued to do my best to act like a Christian, as I had done for so long.

Have you ever found yourself “doing your best” to be a good person, or to act like a Christian?

Though I did not realize it at the time, I was quenching the Spirit, even though I had welcomed Him into my life. During the next few years, the LORD continued to nurture me, and slowly things began to change. Several tough months in Idaho birthed my prayer-life. I spent three years being humbled in a job that was my informal seminary training. In 2007, a short stint in Mexico helped me to see things as they were, and not long afterward, I was baptized by immersion. No baptism of any kind can save a lost soul—only Jesus can do that. However, this baptism was an important covenant between me and God, symbolizing not only my death and resurrection with Jesus and my public profession of faith, but it also my life change, the beginning of my bearing fruit. “For each tree is known by its own fruit…”according to Luke 6:44. During the past year and a half, the LORD has provided me with an informal pastoral internship in my church, teaching me every aspect of discipleship. Simultaneously, I have been studying unceasing prayer and worship. I am now very different than I was five years ago.

In the Book of Acts (which tells the story of the earliest years of the Church) every time a person decided to follow Christ, two things took place—though not always in the same order. Each person experienced a life change, which I call the “baptism of repentance,” as well as the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, which I call the “baptism of the Spirit.” Looking back, I realize that the Holy Spirit was living in me in 2003, but it wasn’t until I surrendered everything to God, as represented by my immersion, that I allowed the Spirit to have His way in me and transform my life. “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now life in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. (Galatians 2:20)”

Have you invited Jesus to live in you? Have you allowed the Spirit to transform your life?

I tell you this story for two reasons. First, I tell this story in order to boast in the LORD! May God our Father get all praise and glory forever! Second, I tell this story because it is relevant to you. Likely you have heard that I am leaving the country: I have let my light shine before you; please let your light shine within the Church, too! This congregation is in revival, and as each of you allows the Spirit to revive you, the entire Church will be revived and utterly transformed, to the glory of the Most High God. And for His glory is the reason He created us; the reason He sent His only Son to reveal Himself to us; the reason He became Sin for us and died for us on the cross—while we were still sinners; and the reason that He conquered death and offered us eternal life with Him.

It will cost you a lot—in fact, it will cost you everything, your very life. But if you have never surrendered your life to Christ Jesus, if you have never invited Him to send His Spirit into you and to transform your life, then do it right now. Just let go of everything to which you are desperately clinging; stop trying to do it yourself! This is the very reason you are still breathing in this physical life—God has been delaying His judgment of this sinful world because He is waiting for you—2 Peter 3:9 says He wants none to perish!

If you have already invited the Spirit into your life, then live like it! Bear fruit! Anyone and everyone who meets you or knows you or sees you or hears you should know immediately and clearly that Jesus the Christ lives in you and loves them! That is how stark the contrast should be between your life and the world around you!

Have you immersed yourself in God’s Word and in prayer in the last twenty-four hours?

If you call yourself a follower of Christ, then there is no excuse for not communing with Him daily! Anchor yourself in the Word! God has revealed Himself to us through His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Bible is a complete and accurate record of that revelation. And prayer is humbly letting Him love us. Let Him love you! God doesn’t need us, but He wants us! God doesn’t need us to live for Him—He wants to live in and through us! Let us love and fellowship with one another, even when you disagree! Pray for each other—the names in the church directory are a great place to start! Church, we are not only the Body of Christ, but we are the Bride of Christ. We have allowed ourselves to get bedraggled and stained—now let us stand to the glory of God! Let’s let Him purify us, restore us, and love us!

My dear Brothers and Sisters, if you have ever once been blessed by God our Father at work in me, then I urge you, please, take seriously His desire to love and work in you, beyond anything you can ask or imagine! I have told you the beginning of my story—may it end in glory to the Father, in the Name of Jesus, by way of His Spirit.

Now, what is your story?