Location: Kitchen, Sighisoara, Romania, the 11th of September, almost 3am.
Drat.
I think I have a sore throat after being healthy for so long. That is why I am up so early, nursing it with a cup of tea and honey. But it seemed like a good time to finally give you an update, before I go back to bed. Please pray for my healing--prayer is much more effective than tea! (James 5)
Sunday night, I was in this same room, making American-style pancakes for our team. True, I do not use a recipe, so they were not perfect, but we liked them! And we could not obtain syrup, so I made a creamy peach sauce out of peach jam and something like sour cream.
Earlier that evening, I had gone to church in a gypsy community a half-hour away, with the express purpose of speaking with the pastor in the car on the way. The last couple weeks have been filled with a lot of specific prayer time and wrangling over pending decisions, and Sunday night proved to me a fine time of information-gathering and brainstorming. Monday night I put all the pieces together, and by Tuesday morning I had peace about a couple of decisions. There are more to make, but I will tackle them one-by-one.
I think many people dislike making such life-determining choices. Nonetheless, because I often have been in this situation, I am used to it. Thus, it has been a real blessing. My prayer time with the Lord has been even more fervant, more intimate, more constant, and it has been a privilege to speak intentionally with several of my trusted mentors and friends via skype or email, to get advice and feedback. I also asked many of you to join me in prayer, and it is a powerful feeling to know that people who love you are praying for you! Thanks for your prayers!
How do I go about making prayerful decisions that will change the course of my life? First, I try to be in a regular prayer-relationship with Jesus via the Holy Spirit--daily, decisions or no. Then, when decisions come, I try to carefully identify all the options I know, and each facet of that choice. Then I ask trusted persons to pray specifically about such details. Next, I spend extra time reading God's Word, and praying. I find that sometimes it helps to write out my prayers; I also force myself to spend extra time "listening" rather than talking all the time. Our Father's will is clearly explained in the Bible, especially in 1 Thessalonians 5. His will is less geared toward a specific circumstance, but more toward a heart position or lifestyle. Thus, I ask myself which choices would be in keeping with that will. I also ask the Spirit to give me God-centered prayers, so that I can try to pray from His perspective, rather from my limited view. I remind myself of what I already know to be true, of my gifts, and of God's faithfulness in the past. Finally, I try to be open to anything the Lord shows me, whether it was one of the original options or something new.
In large part, I believe that God calls us who to be rather than where to be or what to be. And that man or woman that He created us to be is a more constant definition than how we currently occupy our time or where we call home. Nonetheless, at certain times, I believe God brings us to specific places to fulfill specific plans, if we are willing. He can and will use us anywhere, but He always asks full obedience.
Anyway, you probably prefer interesting stories rather than my philosophy . . . so let us return to Sighisoara. Just know that I have been certain that this is where I was called to for this season, and that I do not at all regret coming here. There have been many challenges, but also many blessings, and I dearly love Sighisoara. It is beautiful country, and the people are wonderful. I told some of you incorrectly, but the town is less than 30,000 people, which is a nice size.
And I love the rain.
The rain? Yes, I really love it here. It is raining now, I think. Here, the rain sounds so nice as it hits the building. It mingles with the woodsmoke to make a mist that blankets the valley with fog, pierced time and again by meteor-like raindrops. God has orchestrated the weather so carefully here that I thank Him each time it rains, because it reminds me He is in control. It also reminds me that He is pouring out His Spirit, His love, His mercy, and His grace, in the Church all over the world, but also in a special way in Sighisoara.
God held back the rain again yesterday. We had a fairly tough time in the village of V., which was especially hard since we had such a good visit there on Monday. My fellow intern is out of town on special assignment (like I was a couple of weeks ago), and so another team member (the French gal) joined me for the visit. Neither of us speak more than broken Romanian, so I was unsure about the wisdom of such an endeavor, but God made it possible. We got to visit and play a little with at least thirty kids, remind their parents about the next day's program, and even share with them a little bit of God's Word. We also spent time walking in a parade-like gathering while the kids chanted my name. Oddly, that is the second time it happened--the same thing happened in our neighborhood on Friday. This is a new phenomenon that I hope was just a phase. I want them to see less of me and more of Jesus!
For those of you familiar with it, we have seen much spiritual attack lately. I hope this means that we are on the right track and making a difference, to the devil's dismay. It has certainly been a good reminder to intensify our prayer in everything, and I love coming before the Lord in prayer! One neat thing about spiritual attack is watching our Father's supernatural protection and provision, a truly awesome encouragement--may He get the glory!
So in the midst of the ordinary--working in the kindergarten, presenting Sunday school lessons in the villages, teaching English, studying Romanian, cleaning the bathroom, washing dishes, translating, singing in the Gospel choir, etc.--we get to see the Lord's extraordinary power at work. I was especially moved this week by persons very near my age. In one of the villages, their is a twenty-nine-year-old mother of 10, she had her first child when she was 13. The girls, especially, are often married or mothers at that age in the villages. There is a boy about 25 or 26 years old who, for whatever reason, looks and walks like an old man--yesterday he had to ask to lean on his grandmother to walk a few meters; his cane was not enough. And I may have told you about the begging mother, again probably in her mid-twenties, who must go to another city every week to give her infant a blood transfusion from her own veins, to treat whatever illness he is suffering from. I often pray with her on my way to class, and I was delighted this week when she showed me she had obtained some clothes for the baby!
The weather has been fairly warm after that initial cold shock, and Sunday was delightfully sunny. I pray that you will be encouraged today, whether it is by beautiful weather or during a time of intimate prayer with our Father, or maybe by the people around you. Maybe you will get frustrated by the overwhelming societal problems that haunt us, and you will wonder what we can possibly do . . .
But then maybe you will be encouraged to see a church standing up against society for what is right, even if it means leaving familiar denomination of which it has been a part for decades. Or maybe you will be encouraged by a young family trying to adopt a bi-racial "crackbaby" that might have been otherwise aborted except for God's special intervention. Maybe you will be encouraged to hear about others persevering in a struggle that you have been a part of, and of God's provision in that struggle. Maybe you will be encouraged to hear that a young lady who was in the grip of a heroine addiction on top of her chronic illness has decided to get the help she needs and has been clean for three weeks! Maybe you will be encouraged by a young man on a "fool's errand" in Europe, who believes that the Bible is true and that God answers prayer, and who tries to live his life accordingly, wherever that takes him. Maybe you will be encouraged to remember that the one God, the Creator of the universe and all that is in it, was so interested in showing His love to the people He made that He sent His own Son to make a way for them to be in relationship with Him, even though that Way meant torture and death before the miracle of a new life of hope.
Be encouraged--all these are true stories! Add your own story to the list, and be a blessing today. Let me know how I can pray for you, and join me in the serene throne-room of our God and King. Prayer with Him is such a splendid time of peace and power that I think life without it is impossible. I know my life is.
If I keep writing, this fifth cup of tea will have to lead to a sixth; or, if I keep drinking tea, you will be reading an unending post all day instead of living and working. As the Romanians say, "La revedere". I bless you in the Name of our magnificent Jesus!
This blog is your opportunity to travel with me wherever I am in the world, during both the mundane and exciting moments of life that I humbly recognize as holy. As I bare my life to you, may your reading take you beyond my words to the Word, beyond my life to the Life, beyond the chaos to the Truth, and beyond teachings to the Teacher--the Rabboni. I promise it will be an adventure, and by the end, may you, too, truly know the Way!
A Rose From Home
My Story (As prepared for my church congregation this spring--2009)
I have a story to tell you. I am the main character, but the story is not about me. I have traveled several parts of the world, but my adventure has been closer to home. I am twenty-six years old. My story begins like many of yours…
I grew up going to church. I had been born into a family who labeled themselves “Christian,” in a country that labels itself “Christian.” Every Sunday found me attending a worship service and Sunday school in a mainline denomination church. I served as an acolyte, attended Vacation Bible School, helped my dad count and record the offering money, sang in the youth choir, was a leader in the youth group, and occasionally served as liturgist. Baptized as an infant, I was confirmed at the age of twelve, thus becoming an “official” member of the church. Then, hurt by the church, my family left to find another.
Have you ever been hurt by the Church?
After months of searching, we settled into a very large independent church. Things were different there, and I was quickly welcomed and at home among new friends that truly had a passion for Jesus. The Word of God was taught boldly from the pulpit, and I was introduced to a missions-aware lifestyle. So it was with regret that I said goodbye only a couple of years later to move with my family to another church. I purposely remained aloof, not wanting to make new friendships before I left for college a year later. Besides, I was loosing my faith—or so I thought—and I didn’t want anyone to know. I was asking scary questions like “Is there really a God?” and, if so, “Is He the Christian God?” and “Would I be Christian if I had been born in another part of the world?”
Have you ever asked yourself unsettling questions about what you believe?
So I headed into college under a cloud of confusion that only worsened for the next two years. Though I didn’t know what I believed anymore, I continued to go to church every Sunday, and to help lead worship in chapel. Most importantly, even during this questioning, I continued my morning habit of daily study of the Bible. I had begun at age twelve, reading at first a chapter per day, then ten minutes each morning, then an half-hour, and so on. So, only by the grace of the very God I doubted, I remained anchored in His Word and in His community, though I felt like a fake most of the time. Since then I have learned that “fake” is the worst insult the world can give us; that is why the label of “hypocrite” is so offensive.
Have you ever felt like a fake?
Six weeks with missionaries in South Africa followed by a year in France began to teach me what life with God is all about. I began rebuilding my faith, this time it belonged to me, in contrast to me borrowing the faith of my parents, church, or anyone else. In my parent’s basement in 2003, on either Christmas Eve or New Year’s Eve, I invited Jesus to live in me; perhaps I had done so before, but I didn’t recall—but since 2003, I have never forgotten that moment. Unfortunately, nothing changed. I continued to do my best to act like a Christian, as I had done for so long.
Have you ever found yourself “doing your best” to be a good person, or to act like a Christian?
Though I did not realize it at the time, I was quenching the Spirit, even though I had welcomed Him into my life. During the next few years, the LORD continued to nurture me, and slowly things began to change. Several tough months in Idaho birthed my prayer-life. I spent three years being humbled in a job that was my informal seminary training. In 2007, a short stint in Mexico helped me to see things as they were, and not long afterward, I was baptized by immersion. No baptism of any kind can save a lost soul—only Jesus can do that. However, this baptism was an important covenant between me and God, symbolizing not only my death and resurrection with Jesus and my public profession of faith, but it also my life change, the beginning of my bearing fruit. “For each tree is known by its own fruit…”according to Luke 6:44. During the past year and a half, the LORD has provided me with an informal pastoral internship in my church, teaching me every aspect of discipleship. Simultaneously, I have been studying unceasing prayer and worship. I am now very different than I was five years ago.
In the Book of Acts (which tells the story of the earliest years of the Church) every time a person decided to follow Christ, two things took place—though not always in the same order. Each person experienced a life change, which I call the “baptism of repentance,” as well as the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, which I call the “baptism of the Spirit.” Looking back, I realize that the Holy Spirit was living in me in 2003, but it wasn’t until I surrendered everything to God, as represented by my immersion, that I allowed the Spirit to have His way in me and transform my life. “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now life in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. (Galatians 2:20)”
Have you invited Jesus to live in you? Have you allowed the Spirit to transform your life?
I tell you this story for two reasons. First, I tell this story in order to boast in the LORD! May God our Father get all praise and glory forever! Second, I tell this story because it is relevant to you. Likely you have heard that I am leaving the country: I have let my light shine before you; please let your light shine within the Church, too! This congregation is in revival, and as each of you allows the Spirit to revive you, the entire Church will be revived and utterly transformed, to the glory of the Most High God. And for His glory is the reason He created us; the reason He sent His only Son to reveal Himself to us; the reason He became Sin for us and died for us on the cross—while we were still sinners; and the reason that He conquered death and offered us eternal life with Him.
It will cost you a lot—in fact, it will cost you everything, your very life. But if you have never surrendered your life to Christ Jesus, if you have never invited Him to send His Spirit into you and to transform your life, then do it right now. Just let go of everything to which you are desperately clinging; stop trying to do it yourself! This is the very reason you are still breathing in this physical life—God has been delaying His judgment of this sinful world because He is waiting for you—2 Peter 3:9 says He wants none to perish!
If you have already invited the Spirit into your life, then live like it! Bear fruit! Anyone and everyone who meets you or knows you or sees you or hears you should know immediately and clearly that Jesus the Christ lives in you and loves them! That is how stark the contrast should be between your life and the world around you!
Have you immersed yourself in God’s Word and in prayer in the last twenty-four hours?
If you call yourself a follower of Christ, then there is no excuse for not communing with Him daily! Anchor yourself in the Word! God has revealed Himself to us through His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Bible is a complete and accurate record of that revelation. And prayer is humbly letting Him love us. Let Him love you! God doesn’t need us, but He wants us! God doesn’t need us to live for Him—He wants to live in and through us! Let us love and fellowship with one another, even when you disagree! Pray for each other—the names in the church directory are a great place to start! Church, we are not only the Body of Christ, but we are the Bride of Christ. We have allowed ourselves to get bedraggled and stained—now let us stand to the glory of God! Let’s let Him purify us, restore us, and love us!
My dear Brothers and Sisters, if you have ever once been blessed by God our Father at work in me, then I urge you, please, take seriously His desire to love and work in you, beyond anything you can ask or imagine! I have told you the beginning of my story—may it end in glory to the Father, in the Name of Jesus, by way of His Spirit.
Now, what is your story?