Location: Seat #38 on a Cluj-bound train from Oradea, about 7:30pm on the 25th of June.
The mountains on both side of the train are slipping away into the twilight as N. and I glide toward Cluj-Napoca. Not long ago, the platform was slipping away as I hung out of the train with Alfred (my human-sized backpack), clinging to the bar above the step on which I was standing. When the whistle had blown, I had hurriedly hugged my friend V. and sprinted to the train (carrying Alfred). As the train took off with me waiting on the step for lingering passengers to leap off, V. was pacing beside me, ording me to get on. I smiled at her and said, "V., it's another adventure!" before I swung up into the train and waved goodbye.
Yes, it sounds romantic, and I have to admit that I love such situations. N. was less than thrilled when I found him waiting on the train, but he was happy to see me since I had the tickets! But more seriously, we made such good friends in Oradea! How nice it was for a couple of them to send us off at the station, even in fast-forward! I have decided that this past month has been one of the best months of my life--in part because of the people God has put in my path!
How I hate to leave Oradea! But I look forward to God's plans waiting for me, and I expect these days in Cluj will also be wonderful. Will I returned to Oradea? To Romania? It will be fun to find out!
No, goodbyes are never easy, but it is better to say a hard goodbye than to just find out that people have disappeared! Last night, J. had a great goodbye dinner for us with some of our coworkers, and not only did we have some apple dumplings for dessert, but I also got to have some "kitchen pace." That was helpful in preparing me to find out, upon our arrival home, that we had no running water in our apartment! I told N. I was sorry to hear that, but that I would see him in the morning, because I was going to bed. As I prayed, I knew we would have water in the morning (though I was tempted to doubt when we still did not at 3:30am), and this morning the Lord confirmed it when I was reading Psalm 63. The words about praising the Lord even in a "dry and weary land where there is no water" declared themselves to be powerfully true. I rejoiced and shivered as I took a shower in cold water this morning, but water nonetheless! Cold showers make you feel alive!
Before dinner last night, we had enjoyed a last hurrah in the park with several of our friends. Talk about a variety of people! We were persons of different ages, different nations, different ethnicities, different languages, different abilities, but together for Ultimate Frisbee and fellowship. By phone and and email and some brief handshakes, we did our best tonight to say goodbye to those that were unable to make it to join us last night. It is amazing the number of persons you can meet in one month!
I had a nice dinner with J. the other night at a Chinese restaurant, and while we were eating, I recognized the little boy in the doorway as one to whom we had taught American football!
Some of you tease me about writing too much, and if I were to try to record all of our laughs and memories and mistakes and lessons, this page would truly never end! So instead, I have to treasure them up in my heart as Mary did at the birth of Jesus, and ponder them, discussing them with the LORD. As He uses them to bring me nearer to Him, then I can share with you the meat, like a carefully prepared dish for beloved guests.
In the same way, it was a month's worth of relationship with the young people at work that we had to walk away from today. Tomorrow our friends will be having an integrated competition with local high school students, and we will have to miss the fun. We miss them, and they are already missing us, for they told us how much they need us and asked when we would return.
It may be best that most things in life only last for a season; that way we do not take them for granted. I strive to pour myself wholly into every relationship, every job, every day of life I have. It is not worth always waiting for a better one. It is not worth letting the moments and days and years slip away. Better to dive in, even when it feels like hitting concrete sometimes, and to trust the Lord to work in you and through you. For example, our hosts, I. and H., shared their apartment with us for a month. It was a nice goodbye as we blessed one another, knowing that the Lord was leading us on different paths, but that we would share eternity together even if we never see eachother again on this globe.
Eternity is a tough concept, and it is normally misunderstood. Some people prefer to ignore it because it is so immense. Others make it their first priority, speculating on the details of the unknown so much that they never live a moment of the life that is slipping by them. Eternity is nothing more than life. It is life the way God created it. He created us to live forever, with Him. It is not a reward, it is the way things should be. We as humans chose to stray from that plan, and when we chose immorality instead of God's glory, we chose to separate ourselves from the Eternal God. Yet Jesus came with the fullness of God the Father dwelling in Him. After He was crucified, He was raised to new life, and us with Him. He told His followers that He would sent His Spirit to live in them. If you have surrendered yourself to the Lord, if you have let Him remake you into the man or woman He created you to be, if you have invited Him to dwell in you, then you have the very life of God living in you. That does not make you God, that makes you an empty vessel filled with a precious treasure. God chooses to live out eternity with us. The language the Bible uses is us "in" Him and Him "in" us. While this world still turns, He is living in us and through us, accomplishing His purposes. As this world passes away and is restored to what it was originally created to be, we will live in Him, in the splendor of His glory, forever.
In otherwords, eternity exists for everyone. We have the choice to spend it with God or apart from God. But as soon as we choose to spend it with the Father who is lovingly waiting for us, who lovingly sent His Son to die for us, our eternal life begins. Our old life was crucified on the cross with Christ, and now His eternal life is living in us.
As I watch the beautiful Romanian countryside slipping away, I cannot help but to enjoy eternity. One of the beautiful details of this land is that there are few fences in the pastures, just livestock freely grazing, watched over by shepherds and herdsmen. In the same way, let's forget the fences of this life and live out these moments of eternity. It makes goodbyes easier, relationships richer, and love stronger.
Do not let it slip away!
This blog is your opportunity to travel with me wherever I am in the world, during both the mundane and exciting moments of life that I humbly recognize as holy. As I bare my life to you, may your reading take you beyond my words to the Word, beyond my life to the Life, beyond the chaos to the Truth, and beyond teachings to the Teacher--the Rabboni. I promise it will be an adventure, and by the end, may you, too, truly know the Way!
A Rose From Home
My Story (As prepared for my church congregation this spring--2009)
I have a story to tell you. I am the main character, but the story is not about me. I have traveled several parts of the world, but my adventure has been closer to home. I am twenty-six years old. My story begins like many of yours…
I grew up going to church. I had been born into a family who labeled themselves “Christian,” in a country that labels itself “Christian.” Every Sunday found me attending a worship service and Sunday school in a mainline denomination church. I served as an acolyte, attended Vacation Bible School, helped my dad count and record the offering money, sang in the youth choir, was a leader in the youth group, and occasionally served as liturgist. Baptized as an infant, I was confirmed at the age of twelve, thus becoming an “official” member of the church. Then, hurt by the church, my family left to find another.
Have you ever been hurt by the Church?
After months of searching, we settled into a very large independent church. Things were different there, and I was quickly welcomed and at home among new friends that truly had a passion for Jesus. The Word of God was taught boldly from the pulpit, and I was introduced to a missions-aware lifestyle. So it was with regret that I said goodbye only a couple of years later to move with my family to another church. I purposely remained aloof, not wanting to make new friendships before I left for college a year later. Besides, I was loosing my faith—or so I thought—and I didn’t want anyone to know. I was asking scary questions like “Is there really a God?” and, if so, “Is He the Christian God?” and “Would I be Christian if I had been born in another part of the world?”
Have you ever asked yourself unsettling questions about what you believe?
So I headed into college under a cloud of confusion that only worsened for the next two years. Though I didn’t know what I believed anymore, I continued to go to church every Sunday, and to help lead worship in chapel. Most importantly, even during this questioning, I continued my morning habit of daily study of the Bible. I had begun at age twelve, reading at first a chapter per day, then ten minutes each morning, then an half-hour, and so on. So, only by the grace of the very God I doubted, I remained anchored in His Word and in His community, though I felt like a fake most of the time. Since then I have learned that “fake” is the worst insult the world can give us; that is why the label of “hypocrite” is so offensive.
Have you ever felt like a fake?
Six weeks with missionaries in South Africa followed by a year in France began to teach me what life with God is all about. I began rebuilding my faith, this time it belonged to me, in contrast to me borrowing the faith of my parents, church, or anyone else. In my parent’s basement in 2003, on either Christmas Eve or New Year’s Eve, I invited Jesus to live in me; perhaps I had done so before, but I didn’t recall—but since 2003, I have never forgotten that moment. Unfortunately, nothing changed. I continued to do my best to act like a Christian, as I had done for so long.
Have you ever found yourself “doing your best” to be a good person, or to act like a Christian?
Though I did not realize it at the time, I was quenching the Spirit, even though I had welcomed Him into my life. During the next few years, the LORD continued to nurture me, and slowly things began to change. Several tough months in Idaho birthed my prayer-life. I spent three years being humbled in a job that was my informal seminary training. In 2007, a short stint in Mexico helped me to see things as they were, and not long afterward, I was baptized by immersion. No baptism of any kind can save a lost soul—only Jesus can do that. However, this baptism was an important covenant between me and God, symbolizing not only my death and resurrection with Jesus and my public profession of faith, but it also my life change, the beginning of my bearing fruit. “For each tree is known by its own fruit…”according to Luke 6:44. During the past year and a half, the LORD has provided me with an informal pastoral internship in my church, teaching me every aspect of discipleship. Simultaneously, I have been studying unceasing prayer and worship. I am now very different than I was five years ago.
In the Book of Acts (which tells the story of the earliest years of the Church) every time a person decided to follow Christ, two things took place—though not always in the same order. Each person experienced a life change, which I call the “baptism of repentance,” as well as the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, which I call the “baptism of the Spirit.” Looking back, I realize that the Holy Spirit was living in me in 2003, but it wasn’t until I surrendered everything to God, as represented by my immersion, that I allowed the Spirit to have His way in me and transform my life. “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now life in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. (Galatians 2:20)”
Have you invited Jesus to live in you? Have you allowed the Spirit to transform your life?
I tell you this story for two reasons. First, I tell this story in order to boast in the LORD! May God our Father get all praise and glory forever! Second, I tell this story because it is relevant to you. Likely you have heard that I am leaving the country: I have let my light shine before you; please let your light shine within the Church, too! This congregation is in revival, and as each of you allows the Spirit to revive you, the entire Church will be revived and utterly transformed, to the glory of the Most High God. And for His glory is the reason He created us; the reason He sent His only Son to reveal Himself to us; the reason He became Sin for us and died for us on the cross—while we were still sinners; and the reason that He conquered death and offered us eternal life with Him.
It will cost you a lot—in fact, it will cost you everything, your very life. But if you have never surrendered your life to Christ Jesus, if you have never invited Him to send His Spirit into you and to transform your life, then do it right now. Just let go of everything to which you are desperately clinging; stop trying to do it yourself! This is the very reason you are still breathing in this physical life—God has been delaying His judgment of this sinful world because He is waiting for you—2 Peter 3:9 says He wants none to perish!
If you have already invited the Spirit into your life, then live like it! Bear fruit! Anyone and everyone who meets you or knows you or sees you or hears you should know immediately and clearly that Jesus the Christ lives in you and loves them! That is how stark the contrast should be between your life and the world around you!
Have you immersed yourself in God’s Word and in prayer in the last twenty-four hours?
If you call yourself a follower of Christ, then there is no excuse for not communing with Him daily! Anchor yourself in the Word! God has revealed Himself to us through His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Bible is a complete and accurate record of that revelation. And prayer is humbly letting Him love us. Let Him love you! God doesn’t need us, but He wants us! God doesn’t need us to live for Him—He wants to live in and through us! Let us love and fellowship with one another, even when you disagree! Pray for each other—the names in the church directory are a great place to start! Church, we are not only the Body of Christ, but we are the Bride of Christ. We have allowed ourselves to get bedraggled and stained—now let us stand to the glory of God! Let’s let Him purify us, restore us, and love us!
My dear Brothers and Sisters, if you have ever once been blessed by God our Father at work in me, then I urge you, please, take seriously His desire to love and work in you, beyond anything you can ask or imagine! I have told you the beginning of my story—may it end in glory to the Father, in the Name of Jesus, by way of His Spirit.
Now, what is your story?