I told someone today that if I did not have such a good God, today would have been terrible. Still now, though the day is over, I feel funny. There is part of me that wants to cry, overwhelmed and ready to cash in, and the rest of me is saying, "This is just starting to get good! God is great, so onward, ho!"
Location: J.'s apartment in Sighisoara, Romania, the 2nd of April.
The above is a quote from Yours Truly just earlier this week. I sat down to journal about the day, got interrupted by a phone call which was cut short by the Holy Spirit overwhelming me with His power, and I ended up spending time at the feet of Jesus before going directly to bed. So the post never got written.
Yes, I know it has been quite some time since I last updated my blog. I might add that I have not made much time to write lately either. It has been difficult to keep up with emails, too. Why? After all, these are all things I enjoy!
Well, as you know, life happens. Relationship is always my priority, because I see that it is God's priority. Everything in the Bible screams "relationship!" Everything in Christianity is founded upon relationship: Relationship with Jesus, relationship between Father and Son (and Spirit), relationship between Christians (the Church), relationship between believers and non-believers (the world) . . . Thus, the Christian's life is naturally focused on relationship. And relationship cannot be scheduled, tamed, controlled, organized, pacified, or faked, which means that it tends to "interrupt" schedules and plans and life in general--in a good way!
Maybe you, too, feel overwhelmed by the relationships around you. Maybe it seems like you are needed by too many people with too complicated problems. Maybe you cannot love all the people who love you, or you cannot minister to all the people who come to you. Maybe you have too many friends, or too many enemies. Maybe you cannot reciprocate the love God gives you. Relationships can certainly be overwhelming!
That is why I have not written so much. Often, I choose to spend time at the feet of Jesus instead of writing. I spend a lot of time with my wonderful girlfriend, enjoying the friendship God has given us. Several times a week, I lend a hand to a friend that needs something, happy to help even though it costs me time. Sometimes it is just work, plain and simple, that fills up my schedule.
For example, U. (whose family has blessed and helped me so much!) has been suffering from very bad back problems lately. Yesterday I joined him and a couple of his boys in some logging work in the forest. It was the first time I did something like that, dragging felled trees with the tractor and wench and with the horse, and then cutting them into meter-long sections. I enjoyed the hard work in the beautiful spring weather except for fighting a rotten headache, and I know U. appreciated the help. It was a good investement in his son, D.'s life, too. D. is the 15-year-old boy to whom I teach French and English, and I have become a bit of a mentor to him. He does not know Jesus, but I pray that he will someday!
Speaking of D., a lot of my time of late has gone into planning a special trip to France with him this summer. Shh...it is a surprise! I bought the plane tickets now, and things are falling into place.
Planning a trip takes a lot of organization time, and not only am I planning France, but also the visits of a couple of other Christians to Romania. I will be hosting them for a good bit of their time here, and I am planning our time together in July and August. I am getting excited about it, and about visiting different places in the area where my Father is at work!
Another friend helped me this week by lending me a car (yes, a Dacia!), and then I did him a favor by taking it to town for him, to pass it on to someone else who needed it. Unfortunately, as I was on my way, the gearshift broke clean off in my hand, while I was driving! We had to tow the car (another new experience for me as I sat in the back car--without a gearshift--fixated on the brakelights of the car in front of me so I would not rear-end it!).
Sadly, I am not the only one who had a mishap this week--my brother in America broke his ankle skiing. However, that resulted in an impromptu family reunion via Skype, which was a huge blessing in my week.
So you understand why have not written; thank you for forgiving me.
Do you know what the trick is to avoid being overwhelmed by our workloads, by misfortune, burdens, pain, and deadlines? We need to be overwhelmed by God's goodness, love, grace, and mercy. His peace is wide enough to hold us all, in every situation.
You see, this morning I was tempted to be overwhelmed by the future. It feels like I have a lot of decisions to make and things to work on and plan. Some of them seem impossible, and some of them seem like hopeless jigsaw puzzles. That is why I came to town today, to work on all of this. But as I stood by the road hitchhiking, the Lord reminded me very clearly, "Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has enough worries of its own. Bring me glory today."
That is right: tomorrow might never come. So how am I glorifying my Father today? How are you glorifying Him today?
You probably do not have the same mentle struggle I have: I often struggle against the idea of being a professional missionary or minister. I do not feel called to be, nor do I want to be, a professional minister or missionary. Why? It goes back to the point about relationships. While it is true that God calls some to be professional ministers and missionaries, I believe that we often are better positioned to enter into relationship with our neighbors when we have a "normal," simmple life. Think about how powerful of a testimony to God's goodness it is to have the same life as your neighbor's except for one thing--your life is overwhelmed by God's grace and goodness.
Whatever your role is today, whether it seems meaningful or not, I want you to surrender yourself once more or for the first time to the grace of Jesus Christ. Then I want you to let that grace overwhelm you so much that every person you meet will know that we have an awesome God. Maybe your emails will not get read, nor your patio swept, nor your favorite program watched on T.V., but God will be glorified. And after all, isn't that your job?
This blog is your opportunity to travel with me wherever I am in the world, during both the mundane and exciting moments of life that I humbly recognize as holy. As I bare my life to you, may your reading take you beyond my words to the Word, beyond my life to the Life, beyond the chaos to the Truth, and beyond teachings to the Teacher--the Rabboni. I promise it will be an adventure, and by the end, may you, too, truly know the Way!
A Rose From Home
My Story (As prepared for my church congregation this spring--2009)
I have a story to tell you. I am the main character, but the story is not about me. I have traveled several parts of the world, but my adventure has been closer to home. I am twenty-six years old. My story begins like many of yours…
I grew up going to church. I had been born into a family who labeled themselves “Christian,” in a country that labels itself “Christian.” Every Sunday found me attending a worship service and Sunday school in a mainline denomination church. I served as an acolyte, attended Vacation Bible School, helped my dad count and record the offering money, sang in the youth choir, was a leader in the youth group, and occasionally served as liturgist. Baptized as an infant, I was confirmed at the age of twelve, thus becoming an “official” member of the church. Then, hurt by the church, my family left to find another.
Have you ever been hurt by the Church?
After months of searching, we settled into a very large independent church. Things were different there, and I was quickly welcomed and at home among new friends that truly had a passion for Jesus. The Word of God was taught boldly from the pulpit, and I was introduced to a missions-aware lifestyle. So it was with regret that I said goodbye only a couple of years later to move with my family to another church. I purposely remained aloof, not wanting to make new friendships before I left for college a year later. Besides, I was loosing my faith—or so I thought—and I didn’t want anyone to know. I was asking scary questions like “Is there really a God?” and, if so, “Is He the Christian God?” and “Would I be Christian if I had been born in another part of the world?”
Have you ever asked yourself unsettling questions about what you believe?
So I headed into college under a cloud of confusion that only worsened for the next two years. Though I didn’t know what I believed anymore, I continued to go to church every Sunday, and to help lead worship in chapel. Most importantly, even during this questioning, I continued my morning habit of daily study of the Bible. I had begun at age twelve, reading at first a chapter per day, then ten minutes each morning, then an half-hour, and so on. So, only by the grace of the very God I doubted, I remained anchored in His Word and in His community, though I felt like a fake most of the time. Since then I have learned that “fake” is the worst insult the world can give us; that is why the label of “hypocrite” is so offensive.
Have you ever felt like a fake?
Six weeks with missionaries in South Africa followed by a year in France began to teach me what life with God is all about. I began rebuilding my faith, this time it belonged to me, in contrast to me borrowing the faith of my parents, church, or anyone else. In my parent’s basement in 2003, on either Christmas Eve or New Year’s Eve, I invited Jesus to live in me; perhaps I had done so before, but I didn’t recall—but since 2003, I have never forgotten that moment. Unfortunately, nothing changed. I continued to do my best to act like a Christian, as I had done for so long.
Have you ever found yourself “doing your best” to be a good person, or to act like a Christian?
Though I did not realize it at the time, I was quenching the Spirit, even though I had welcomed Him into my life. During the next few years, the LORD continued to nurture me, and slowly things began to change. Several tough months in Idaho birthed my prayer-life. I spent three years being humbled in a job that was my informal seminary training. In 2007, a short stint in Mexico helped me to see things as they were, and not long afterward, I was baptized by immersion. No baptism of any kind can save a lost soul—only Jesus can do that. However, this baptism was an important covenant between me and God, symbolizing not only my death and resurrection with Jesus and my public profession of faith, but it also my life change, the beginning of my bearing fruit. “For each tree is known by its own fruit…”according to Luke 6:44. During the past year and a half, the LORD has provided me with an informal pastoral internship in my church, teaching me every aspect of discipleship. Simultaneously, I have been studying unceasing prayer and worship. I am now very different than I was five years ago.
In the Book of Acts (which tells the story of the earliest years of the Church) every time a person decided to follow Christ, two things took place—though not always in the same order. Each person experienced a life change, which I call the “baptism of repentance,” as well as the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, which I call the “baptism of the Spirit.” Looking back, I realize that the Holy Spirit was living in me in 2003, but it wasn’t until I surrendered everything to God, as represented by my immersion, that I allowed the Spirit to have His way in me and transform my life. “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now life in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. (Galatians 2:20)”
Have you invited Jesus to live in you? Have you allowed the Spirit to transform your life?
I tell you this story for two reasons. First, I tell this story in order to boast in the LORD! May God our Father get all praise and glory forever! Second, I tell this story because it is relevant to you. Likely you have heard that I am leaving the country: I have let my light shine before you; please let your light shine within the Church, too! This congregation is in revival, and as each of you allows the Spirit to revive you, the entire Church will be revived and utterly transformed, to the glory of the Most High God. And for His glory is the reason He created us; the reason He sent His only Son to reveal Himself to us; the reason He became Sin for us and died for us on the cross—while we were still sinners; and the reason that He conquered death and offered us eternal life with Him.
It will cost you a lot—in fact, it will cost you everything, your very life. But if you have never surrendered your life to Christ Jesus, if you have never invited Him to send His Spirit into you and to transform your life, then do it right now. Just let go of everything to which you are desperately clinging; stop trying to do it yourself! This is the very reason you are still breathing in this physical life—God has been delaying His judgment of this sinful world because He is waiting for you—2 Peter 3:9 says He wants none to perish!
If you have already invited the Spirit into your life, then live like it! Bear fruit! Anyone and everyone who meets you or knows you or sees you or hears you should know immediately and clearly that Jesus the Christ lives in you and loves them! That is how stark the contrast should be between your life and the world around you!
Have you immersed yourself in God’s Word and in prayer in the last twenty-four hours?
If you call yourself a follower of Christ, then there is no excuse for not communing with Him daily! Anchor yourself in the Word! God has revealed Himself to us through His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Bible is a complete and accurate record of that revelation. And prayer is humbly letting Him love us. Let Him love you! God doesn’t need us, but He wants us! God doesn’t need us to live for Him—He wants to live in and through us! Let us love and fellowship with one another, even when you disagree! Pray for each other—the names in the church directory are a great place to start! Church, we are not only the Body of Christ, but we are the Bride of Christ. We have allowed ourselves to get bedraggled and stained—now let us stand to the glory of God! Let’s let Him purify us, restore us, and love us!
My dear Brothers and Sisters, if you have ever once been blessed by God our Father at work in me, then I urge you, please, take seriously His desire to love and work in you, beyond anything you can ask or imagine! I have told you the beginning of my story—may it end in glory to the Father, in the Name of Jesus, by way of His Spirit.
Now, what is your story?