Location: Again on my bed in C., Romania (5pm on the 19th of June)
Another thundershower is boasting outside my window, the fifth in the past six days. I cannot say that I mind much; in fact, I enjoy these storms. This week, our work has been indoors, so the weather did not affect us much. Right now, I am enjoying a relaxing Saturday, so again it does not bother me. The only funny thing is the lights that flicker on every once in a while each time we regain power. Yet I do not really need light or power right now, so who cares?
Last evening, the W. family cared a little bit. A humungous storm ruined their plans for a surprise cookout for my birthday. However, we ended up having a dinner indoors at a friend's place in Sighisoara, and despite the fact that much of the evening's conversation happened in German, it was special and delightful. Some of my very best friends from here were present--my mentor, T., and his family, my friend M., and of course, the W. family. You probably know that I do not much like parties, games, or crowds, so I was pleased that there were only a dozen or so of us, and the games and party were kept to a minimum--a casual dinner, great desserts, and a couple of quick games before we dispersed. Maybe the "surprise" birthday plans were ruined, but I thought it was a wonderful evening.
You might be interested in the gifts I received. One of my favorites was a handmade decoration that reminds me of God's presence through prayer. Another was a cache of food stuffs, including homemade jam and pickles! Even better is the homemade apple cider that we drink like water here; I received two bottles of it! I have said that when I leave here I will never want to drink water again!
But the best gift was that both on my birthday and the day before, my coworker, I., came to our early morning Bible study, despite some personal reticence. He is a Christian, but there is some history that makes certain parts of the present difficult for him, and I thank you for your prayers for him. His becoming a good friend, and he has been most helpful to me. Please continue in your prayers for him.
You see, I am still spending much time in prayer, learning more about my role here in C. It is an unusual season for me, because normally I am knee-deep in relationships and activites by now; yet right now, my life is quiet and simple. The Lord keeps telling me that it is not yet my time, and so I simply enjoy Him as He prepares me. I am learning a lot here, and I have not yet visited V., where I want to move after this apprenticeship. It is extremely difficult to get to from here, especially when I work Monday through Friday. In fact, a lot of things are difficult to get done when I work in a village Monday through Friday. Anytime I could get to town, businesses are closing or already closed. And now we have taken a summer vacation with the choir, meaning that I am not going into town every Wednesday evening like I was. Instead of fretting about all of this, I enjoy village life in C. I write, play the violin, wash my clothes, and pray. There is never a dull moment for me, but neither am I hurrying often, nor overbooked.
Today I tuned up my bike a bit, hoping to go into town tomorrow (which means this might get posted online). Yesterday we were laying hardwood floor in the second-story of the house we gutted in Medias, and I know we have some more of that to do. In the not too distant future, we will be harvesting hay and hosting a couple of camps for the local kids. At some point in the midst of all this, I have to apply for a renewal for my residency card (basically a visa) to stay here longer. Please pray for all of this.
Our God is good and faithful. Maybe you are wondering what I am doing for the Lord right now; after all, am I not a missionary in Romania? Well, I have told you before, I am not a missionary; I am simply a Christian who happens to be in Romania right now. Besides, there is nothing that I could do FOR the Lord that would be of any value. He does not need me; He loves me and sometimes chooses to work through me. So I am just loving Him. Meanwhile, I am trying to encourage a few of my friends here who are having some rough seasons. I am tryng to live a life above reproach and full of love, which reflects the light of Jesus. I am prevailing in prayer for the people around me and in other parts of the world, which I believe is the greatest task we can obey the Lord in as Christians. I am also trying to lend a hand to other Christians who better understand their purposes here, that they might more effectively heed their callings. And I am studying the situation of the Church, trying to be ready as the Lord connects me with it.
Yesterday, for instance, we were in the upstairs of an empty house above a courtyard construction site behind a closed door to the street when we looked up to find two ladies in skirts in the midst of our sawdust. They were misisonaries of one of the international cults that are so dangerous, the type that claim to be Christians but who have changed the gospel they preach and believe. I wanted to discuss with them but could not because I was on the clock.
If you are part of a group of Christians in a church or a study group or anywhere else, no matter what the name is, compare the beliefs you see and hear with the truth of God's word. What is the Gospel? What are some of the devil's modifications that conquor people with lies that sound like the truth? See what the Bible says. Here is the long and short of it.
Known by many names, there is only one God, and He is not human. He is understood through three persons, as Father, Son, and Spirit; He created humans and wants to be in a loving relationship with them. Through His grace in the life of the Son, Jesus, who temporarily took on human flesh and lived and died and rose again as one hundred percent human without ever giving up His divinity, He rescued us from the life of filth we were living, and He makes us holy by His holiness. But He never intended humans to become gods, nor did He want us to try really hard to be perfect; instead He sent His Spirit to live IN us (humans surrendered to His awesome goodness), His righteousness, His authority, His power, and His love working through us for His glory and for our good. The Bible is the record of God's communication with His beloved people, beginning with Adam and Eve, continuing with the nation of Israel, and eventually including the Church. It is His perfect truth transmitted via imperfect humans over thousands of years in oral and written form. This Truth promises us that when we surrender ourselves to God's holiness, when we invite His Spirit to animate and navigate all we are and all we do, that we will enjoy God's presence and live with Him forever; that His Jesus will return for the people waiting for Him, that this earth will be destroyed and replaced by a new paradise, where we will be forever overwhelmed by the glory of God.
The devil tweaks these truths ever so slightly, knowing that missing the mark by only a hair's breadth is still a clean miss, and that it is the difference between life or death. The devil loves churches full of people who are trapped in meaningless rituals, who try to work very hard to do good things, to appear pretty and clean and perfect and holy, who pray before meals and before bed without engaging their heart, only reciting nursery rhymes with their mouths. The devil wants people to believe that they can become gods, or that there is a secret truth that only a few are clever enough to find. The devil wants you to learn secret handshakes and the one name of God that is supposedly more holy than all the others. The devil wants you to believe that Jesus never really died, or that He never rose from the dead, or that He was just a really nice guy with charisma and charm. The devil wants you to focus on heavens and healings and rewards and treasures that you can win or buy and enjoy someday in the future, especially if you sacrifice enough in this life, so that you miss the point that you can know Jesus today. The devil wants you to realize that God is an enormous impersonal force that has no interaction with us, that is neither good nor evil, but that you can worship if you want. The devil wants us to memorize Bible verses and to spend hours in special church buildings instead of relating to Jesus through prayer and praise from the heart.
Enough. I have written too much again in an effort to show you my heart, to explain the sadness and anger I feel when I see people who think they are good people doing good things and maybe even a part of good churches or good Christian religion, but who have never yet experienced a familiarity with Jesus Himself. And these emotions are even more turbulent when I hear people preaching the devil's lies instead of God's Truth.
What am I doing for God in Romania? Nothing. Who is Jesus to me? Everything! If I had to come to to a village in Romania and do nothing, upheld only by the grace and mercy of God's goodness, led and protected only by the Holy Spirit, for one of you readers to understand finally that God wants to know your heart like a husband or wife knows his or her spouse, like a father or mother knows his or her child, and that you just have to let Him, then all of these hand-washed clothes and outhouses and bicycled kilometers and power outages and construction debris and hours away from people I love are worth it!
This blog is your opportunity to travel with me wherever I am in the world, during both the mundane and exciting moments of life that I humbly recognize as holy. As I bare my life to you, may your reading take you beyond my words to the Word, beyond my life to the Life, beyond the chaos to the Truth, and beyond teachings to the Teacher--the Rabboni. I promise it will be an adventure, and by the end, may you, too, truly know the Way!
A Rose From Home
My Story (As prepared for my church congregation this spring--2009)
I have a story to tell you. I am the main character, but the story is not about me. I have traveled several parts of the world, but my adventure has been closer to home. I am twenty-six years old. My story begins like many of yours…
I grew up going to church. I had been born into a family who labeled themselves “Christian,” in a country that labels itself “Christian.” Every Sunday found me attending a worship service and Sunday school in a mainline denomination church. I served as an acolyte, attended Vacation Bible School, helped my dad count and record the offering money, sang in the youth choir, was a leader in the youth group, and occasionally served as liturgist. Baptized as an infant, I was confirmed at the age of twelve, thus becoming an “official” member of the church. Then, hurt by the church, my family left to find another.
Have you ever been hurt by the Church?
After months of searching, we settled into a very large independent church. Things were different there, and I was quickly welcomed and at home among new friends that truly had a passion for Jesus. The Word of God was taught boldly from the pulpit, and I was introduced to a missions-aware lifestyle. So it was with regret that I said goodbye only a couple of years later to move with my family to another church. I purposely remained aloof, not wanting to make new friendships before I left for college a year later. Besides, I was loosing my faith—or so I thought—and I didn’t want anyone to know. I was asking scary questions like “Is there really a God?” and, if so, “Is He the Christian God?” and “Would I be Christian if I had been born in another part of the world?”
Have you ever asked yourself unsettling questions about what you believe?
So I headed into college under a cloud of confusion that only worsened for the next two years. Though I didn’t know what I believed anymore, I continued to go to church every Sunday, and to help lead worship in chapel. Most importantly, even during this questioning, I continued my morning habit of daily study of the Bible. I had begun at age twelve, reading at first a chapter per day, then ten minutes each morning, then an half-hour, and so on. So, only by the grace of the very God I doubted, I remained anchored in His Word and in His community, though I felt like a fake most of the time. Since then I have learned that “fake” is the worst insult the world can give us; that is why the label of “hypocrite” is so offensive.
Have you ever felt like a fake?
Six weeks with missionaries in South Africa followed by a year in France began to teach me what life with God is all about. I began rebuilding my faith, this time it belonged to me, in contrast to me borrowing the faith of my parents, church, or anyone else. In my parent’s basement in 2003, on either Christmas Eve or New Year’s Eve, I invited Jesus to live in me; perhaps I had done so before, but I didn’t recall—but since 2003, I have never forgotten that moment. Unfortunately, nothing changed. I continued to do my best to act like a Christian, as I had done for so long.
Have you ever found yourself “doing your best” to be a good person, or to act like a Christian?
Though I did not realize it at the time, I was quenching the Spirit, even though I had welcomed Him into my life. During the next few years, the LORD continued to nurture me, and slowly things began to change. Several tough months in Idaho birthed my prayer-life. I spent three years being humbled in a job that was my informal seminary training. In 2007, a short stint in Mexico helped me to see things as they were, and not long afterward, I was baptized by immersion. No baptism of any kind can save a lost soul—only Jesus can do that. However, this baptism was an important covenant between me and God, symbolizing not only my death and resurrection with Jesus and my public profession of faith, but it also my life change, the beginning of my bearing fruit. “For each tree is known by its own fruit…”according to Luke 6:44. During the past year and a half, the LORD has provided me with an informal pastoral internship in my church, teaching me every aspect of discipleship. Simultaneously, I have been studying unceasing prayer and worship. I am now very different than I was five years ago.
In the Book of Acts (which tells the story of the earliest years of the Church) every time a person decided to follow Christ, two things took place—though not always in the same order. Each person experienced a life change, which I call the “baptism of repentance,” as well as the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, which I call the “baptism of the Spirit.” Looking back, I realize that the Holy Spirit was living in me in 2003, but it wasn’t until I surrendered everything to God, as represented by my immersion, that I allowed the Spirit to have His way in me and transform my life. “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now life in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. (Galatians 2:20)”
Have you invited Jesus to live in you? Have you allowed the Spirit to transform your life?
I tell you this story for two reasons. First, I tell this story in order to boast in the LORD! May God our Father get all praise and glory forever! Second, I tell this story because it is relevant to you. Likely you have heard that I am leaving the country: I have let my light shine before you; please let your light shine within the Church, too! This congregation is in revival, and as each of you allows the Spirit to revive you, the entire Church will be revived and utterly transformed, to the glory of the Most High God. And for His glory is the reason He created us; the reason He sent His only Son to reveal Himself to us; the reason He became Sin for us and died for us on the cross—while we were still sinners; and the reason that He conquered death and offered us eternal life with Him.
It will cost you a lot—in fact, it will cost you everything, your very life. But if you have never surrendered your life to Christ Jesus, if you have never invited Him to send His Spirit into you and to transform your life, then do it right now. Just let go of everything to which you are desperately clinging; stop trying to do it yourself! This is the very reason you are still breathing in this physical life—God has been delaying His judgment of this sinful world because He is waiting for you—2 Peter 3:9 says He wants none to perish!
If you have already invited the Spirit into your life, then live like it! Bear fruit! Anyone and everyone who meets you or knows you or sees you or hears you should know immediately and clearly that Jesus the Christ lives in you and loves them! That is how stark the contrast should be between your life and the world around you!
Have you immersed yourself in God’s Word and in prayer in the last twenty-four hours?
If you call yourself a follower of Christ, then there is no excuse for not communing with Him daily! Anchor yourself in the Word! God has revealed Himself to us through His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Bible is a complete and accurate record of that revelation. And prayer is humbly letting Him love us. Let Him love you! God doesn’t need us, but He wants us! God doesn’t need us to live for Him—He wants to live in and through us! Let us love and fellowship with one another, even when you disagree! Pray for each other—the names in the church directory are a great place to start! Church, we are not only the Body of Christ, but we are the Bride of Christ. We have allowed ourselves to get bedraggled and stained—now let us stand to the glory of God! Let’s let Him purify us, restore us, and love us!
My dear Brothers and Sisters, if you have ever once been blessed by God our Father at work in me, then I urge you, please, take seriously His desire to love and work in you, beyond anything you can ask or imagine! I have told you the beginning of my story—may it end in glory to the Father, in the Name of Jesus, by way of His Spirit.
Now, what is your story?