Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Labyrinth of Life


Location: A petite maison (house) in which I have been sleeping in Nancy, France, next door to my hosts' house. It is 7:30am on Sunday, the 19th of July.

I gaze into the morning, eager to face the day. In a couple of hours, I hope to attend church for the first time in too many weeks, as well as meet a few friends their whom I have not seen in six years. Then I intend to catch the train that will take me to the camp that will be my home for the next several weeks. In many ways, I do not know what to expect, but I know that the Spirit of the Lord goes before me.

Have you ever hurried through a dark labyrinth filling with smoke, frantically watching for movement as you crouch in a corner to keep yourself hidden? It is kill or be killed.

Unfortunately, some of you have probably had that all-to-real experience during some part of your life that you will never forget. For me, it was merely a couple of games of intense Laser Tag. As much as I enjoy the adrenaline rush in the moment, I do not enjoy war games, because my imagination is assured by my reason that for all to many people, the game will not stop after twenty minutes, and death will be something more serious than scars on a scorecard.

Friday culminated in a 24-person dinner in our living room that was a birthday celebration, having included Laser Tag as an appetizer. But the best part of my day happened during the long walk I took to the church I hope to visit today. As I neared my destination, I saw a tattered old man with a white beard digging in the trash and pulling out pizza boxes. Immediately I knew I should speak with him, but like so many other people, I tried making excuses to myself and walked by with a muffled "bonjour." Yet God often speaks to me through my conscience, and none of my excuses held water. Each step became more difficult as I fought turning around. This is what I call "drive-by obedience"--when I only obey the LORD after first driving-by and arguing with myself, only to eventually turn around and do what I should have done in the first place.

So, yes, I returned to invite the monsieur to join me for a sandwich. He politely declined, then asked me a harmless question that led to a conversation that probably lasted an half hour. J., my new friend, was at least in his mid-seventies, because he was from a family of nine children and was recounting what it was like to welcome the American forces who arrived in 1944. We had a wonderful exchange about the way things are versus how they were, and about what is important in life. Ignoring the glances I got from passersby as we conversed next to the trash cans, I could not help but think that J. looked a lot like God. It took me no reflection to honor those moments as the favorite of my day.

Long conversations also characterized my Saturday, providing bookends on another large meal, this time with 9 persons. In the morning, I spoke internationally via Skype with two friends of mine. One was from the tiny French village that had been my haven the past two weeks; I also received a note from there telling me that my young friends had cried when they received my goodbye notes. That village had quickly adopted me into their family, and I have to admit that I greatly miss them already.

Nonetheless, here in Nancy I have been adopted, too. The love is merely expressed differently. I failed to meet with a couple who wanted to see me before they left on vacation; we were unable to match schedules at the last minute. And I told you that one lady came by train so we could catch up on six-year-old memories. My host family here, too, pleads with me to return when I leave, and tries to keep me from leaving whenever possible. What a privilege it is to be cared for by so many people; people like you! Thank you!

It was with my host parents that I discussed last night. I had planned to go to the park, but God had other plans. The house emptied and suddenly I was alone with my host parents--a perfect recipe for nearly four hours of discussion about life and God and how those relate. Entering the dialogue, I sat meekly uncomfortable, knowing that we shared a similar religious culture and background, but very aware of the differences in our faith. The conversation was wonderful; it helps that we all know and care about one another--thus otherwise offensive direct comments do not become inflammatory.

Much more science-minded than I am, I think they became frustrated with my more artistic, philosophical perspective. I was impressed with their big-picture thinking of the Bible, faith, and life. Discussions such as these are good reminders that people cannot be put into boxes with labels based on nationality or denomination or age or career.

That said, my heart cries for the people of Europe! I am "zooming out" if you will from a private discussion last night to two month's worth of listening to and watching people's lifestyles of faith. I want to sob as I meet and re-meet person after person in nation after nation that has a good understanding of who God is, who lives a life of benevolence toward the people around him, but who cannot begin to imagine that the Almighty God who transcends all human understanding has revealed Himself in a way that is comprehensible to us, in order that we be in relationship with Him.

As much as J. looked like God on Friday, God is not some white-bearded man governing the heavens from a marble throne, ready to reward our goodness and punish our sins! He is not an impersonal idea of universal love or mysterious truth! He is not an icon or a statue or an idea that we worship once a week through stale rituals! He is not a catalyst of frenzied emotion! He is a Father! He is a Friend! He is a Savior! He is a King! He is a Bridegroom! He is a Shepherd! He is a Comforter! He is a Person--One God in Three Persons, in fact!

All of these names and terms fall far short of defining our indescribable God. But if you never listen to any other thing I say, listen to this: God vehemently desires to lavish His love upon each of us, to be in personal relationship with you, specifically! Do you see? Yes, He is the Creator of the heavens and the earth! Yes, He is the just Judge of humankind! But none of that matters if you do not know Him. He is knowable like a spouse, like a family member, like a buddy! No, I dare not belittle His majesty by inadequate metaphors, but this is the most important Truth in the whole world, in all of life!

This is why Jesus is important... Jesus came to embody the "who God is" in human flesh, in a way that we could understand. He came to serve as a bridge between our Father's perfection and our corruption. He came to translate the Word of God to a species who babbled confusing languages. He came to show us not how to love God (although He did that!) but how to be loved by our Father!

God does not care if I serve Him if I do not know Him personally!
Our Creator does not care if I believe in Him if I do not know Him intimately!
Our Father does not care if I understand Him if I do not let Him love me!

Friend, I am out of time, and you may be out of patience after a long soap-box like this. But I plead with you, no matter where you are in whatever faith or religion you have, ponder and pray about these things! There are Christian churches of every kind filled with people who know everything about God but do not know Him at all! Do you know that there exists an all-powerful, undefinable God? Do you know Him? Do you let Him love you? Do you see why the world kills and heals because of a Jew named Jesus who walked in Israel for thirty-some-odd years?

Do not let your life of faith or religion be like a pretty cemetery whose insides rot while the tombstones boast flowers and decorations!
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A Rose From Home

A Rose From Home

My Story (As prepared for my church congregation this spring--2009)


I have a story to tell you. I am the main character, but the story is not about me. I have traveled several parts of the world, but my adventure has been closer to home. I am twenty-six years old. My story begins like many of yours…

I grew up going to church. I had been born into a family who labeled themselves “Christian,” in a country that labels itself “Christian.” Every Sunday found me attending a worship service and Sunday school in a mainline denomination church. I served as an acolyte, attended Vacation Bible School, helped my dad count and record the offering money, sang in the youth choir, was a leader in the youth group, and occasionally served as liturgist. Baptized as an infant, I was confirmed at the age of twelve, thus becoming an “official” member of the church. Then, hurt by the church, my family left to find another.

Have you ever been hurt by the Church?

After months of searching, we settled into a very large independent church. Things were different there, and I was quickly welcomed and at home among new friends that truly had a passion for Jesus. The Word of God was taught boldly from the pulpit, and I was introduced to a missions-aware lifestyle. So it was with regret that I said goodbye only a couple of years later to move with my family to another church. I purposely remained aloof, not wanting to make new friendships before I left for college a year later. Besides, I was loosing my faith—or so I thought—and I didn’t want anyone to know. I was asking scary questions like “Is there really a God?” and, if so, “Is He the Christian God?” and “Would I be Christian if I had been born in another part of the world?”

Have you ever asked yourself unsettling questions about what you believe?

So I headed into college under a cloud of confusion that only worsened for the next two years. Though I didn’t know what I believed anymore, I continued to go to church every Sunday, and to help lead worship in chapel. Most importantly, even during this questioning, I continued my morning habit of daily study of the Bible. I had begun at age twelve, reading at first a chapter per day, then ten minutes each morning, then an half-hour, and so on. So, only by the grace of the very God I doubted, I remained anchored in His Word and in His community, though I felt like a fake most of the time. Since then I have learned that “fake” is the worst insult the world can give us; that is why the label of “hypocrite” is so offensive.

Have you ever felt like a fake?

Six weeks with missionaries in South Africa followed by a year in France began to teach me what life with God is all about. I began rebuilding my faith, this time it belonged to me, in contrast to me borrowing the faith of my parents, church, or anyone else. In my parent’s basement in 2003, on either Christmas Eve or New Year’s Eve, I invited Jesus to live in me; perhaps I had done so before, but I didn’t recall—but since 2003, I have never forgotten that moment. Unfortunately, nothing changed. I continued to do my best to act like a Christian, as I had done for so long.

Have you ever found yourself “doing your best” to be a good person, or to act like a Christian?

Though I did not realize it at the time, I was quenching the Spirit, even though I had welcomed Him into my life. During the next few years, the LORD continued to nurture me, and slowly things began to change. Several tough months in Idaho birthed my prayer-life. I spent three years being humbled in a job that was my informal seminary training. In 2007, a short stint in Mexico helped me to see things as they were, and not long afterward, I was baptized by immersion. No baptism of any kind can save a lost soul—only Jesus can do that. However, this baptism was an important covenant between me and God, symbolizing not only my death and resurrection with Jesus and my public profession of faith, but it also my life change, the beginning of my bearing fruit. “For each tree is known by its own fruit…”according to Luke 6:44. During the past year and a half, the LORD has provided me with an informal pastoral internship in my church, teaching me every aspect of discipleship. Simultaneously, I have been studying unceasing prayer and worship. I am now very different than I was five years ago.

In the Book of Acts (which tells the story of the earliest years of the Church) every time a person decided to follow Christ, two things took place—though not always in the same order. Each person experienced a life change, which I call the “baptism of repentance,” as well as the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, which I call the “baptism of the Spirit.” Looking back, I realize that the Holy Spirit was living in me in 2003, but it wasn’t until I surrendered everything to God, as represented by my immersion, that I allowed the Spirit to have His way in me and transform my life. “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now life in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. (Galatians 2:20)”

Have you invited Jesus to live in you? Have you allowed the Spirit to transform your life?

I tell you this story for two reasons. First, I tell this story in order to boast in the LORD! May God our Father get all praise and glory forever! Second, I tell this story because it is relevant to you. Likely you have heard that I am leaving the country: I have let my light shine before you; please let your light shine within the Church, too! This congregation is in revival, and as each of you allows the Spirit to revive you, the entire Church will be revived and utterly transformed, to the glory of the Most High God. And for His glory is the reason He created us; the reason He sent His only Son to reveal Himself to us; the reason He became Sin for us and died for us on the cross—while we were still sinners; and the reason that He conquered death and offered us eternal life with Him.

It will cost you a lot—in fact, it will cost you everything, your very life. But if you have never surrendered your life to Christ Jesus, if you have never invited Him to send His Spirit into you and to transform your life, then do it right now. Just let go of everything to which you are desperately clinging; stop trying to do it yourself! This is the very reason you are still breathing in this physical life—God has been delaying His judgment of this sinful world because He is waiting for you—2 Peter 3:9 says He wants none to perish!

If you have already invited the Spirit into your life, then live like it! Bear fruit! Anyone and everyone who meets you or knows you or sees you or hears you should know immediately and clearly that Jesus the Christ lives in you and loves them! That is how stark the contrast should be between your life and the world around you!

Have you immersed yourself in God’s Word and in prayer in the last twenty-four hours?

If you call yourself a follower of Christ, then there is no excuse for not communing with Him daily! Anchor yourself in the Word! God has revealed Himself to us through His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Bible is a complete and accurate record of that revelation. And prayer is humbly letting Him love us. Let Him love you! God doesn’t need us, but He wants us! God doesn’t need us to live for Him—He wants to live in and through us! Let us love and fellowship with one another, even when you disagree! Pray for each other—the names in the church directory are a great place to start! Church, we are not only the Body of Christ, but we are the Bride of Christ. We have allowed ourselves to get bedraggled and stained—now let us stand to the glory of God! Let’s let Him purify us, restore us, and love us!

My dear Brothers and Sisters, if you have ever once been blessed by God our Father at work in me, then I urge you, please, take seriously His desire to love and work in you, beyond anything you can ask or imagine! I have told you the beginning of my story—may it end in glory to the Father, in the Name of Jesus, by way of His Spirit.

Now, what is your story?