Location: In my now shared bedroom in the apartment in Oradea (God has arranged for us to stay here longer. Thanks be to Him!) It is about lunch time on June 6.
Today was supposed to be a "chilax" day, and I was hoping to catch up on this blog, on emails, on personal stuff, and on rest. But, my plans usually change when I surrender them to the Lord.
As I was praying this morning, my phone rang, and though I usually ignore it during prayer, I answered it since it was one of the young Romanians that the Lord has brought into our lives here (O., the one who was in the hospital). Unfortunately, he speaks almost no English, and my Romanian is poor to say the least, so we have trouble communicating effectively. I heard a few words I understood and said yes, I understand, and then goodbye, and returned to prayer. Not long after that, to my surprise, he called again saying he was out in front of my building. I said I would be down in five minutes and threw on some clothes, only to find that I had agreed to go running with him. Many of you probably know that running (outside of emergency purposes and athletic competitions) is not my idea of fun--especially without breakfast! Nonetheless, I had just told the Lord that I was ready to live according to His plans, not mine today, so off we went, with me trusting the Lord for strength, and clinging to the hope that I could keep up since my friend is a heavy smoker. A few miles later, I was pleased to have survived and kept up, and we said our goodbyes until football in the park later today.
My cousin, N., is seeing that missions work is often much different from the stereotypical work project or door-to-door evangilism. It is based on relationships in which the Lord uses people like you and me to reveal Himself and his great love to those He draws to us. It often involves changed plans, waiting, patience, creativity, endurance, flexibility, and investment. It means not "doing" missions projects, but instead being available for the Holy Spirit to move freely in us as He desires. I am very pleased with the way things are going, though it certainly includes many surprises, challenges, and frustrations. As you can see, even when I don't go looking for adventure, it comes knocking, thanks to our wonderful Father God!
Last night proved exciting, too. When we prayed yesterday morning, N. and I had known something was in the works from God's point-of-view, but we were unsure as to what. Our day consisted of a fun day with the young people, a couple of whom received new wheelchairs. Then we explored part of the city on foot for a few hours, having met up with my Romanian friend S. and his friend, L. (While we were with them, the police approached us! By now rather used to adventure's arrival, we waited quietly to know what was happening. It turned out that L. was getting scolded for having his foot on a park bench! They wrote down his name and address in a small notepad so that if they caught him doing it again, he would get fined! Then they told us to have a good day! I was amazed to say the least! What else can you get fined for here?! I hope we don't "fined" out!) Finally, we met up with V. and her Romanian friend, E., at a cafe for a few laughs before our appointed football date in the park.
Football was fine, and a Sri Lankan-Saudi friend of H. joined us. I am excited to see God using it to transform lives, though it will be interesting to see if it continues to be football or if it changes to something else that invites relationship.
But what was really exciting was the walk home. I was chatting with A., the teenager with me in the photo above. We have given him a nickname, J., so if I accidentally refer to him by more than one name, please forgive me. The Lord had just led our conversation around to Himself when we reached the apartment, so I told H. and N. to go up without me; A. and I were going to finish our conversation. My expectations for a 15-minute discussion turned into more than an hour as we discussed the things of life and the LORD, and I told him about how the Lord brought me to Romania and what He had done in my life. I have probably told you that we are sure that God has special plans for Oradea and Romania as a whole. What I maybe did not tell you is that A. and his friend K. are two young men that we have noticed seem to be designated to play key roles in whatever God is doing here. I think you will be hearing more of A.; he is an amazing young man, with many talents, a great mind, and a deep heart. It is my pleasure to introduce him to you right now; please pray for him as he continues to seek Truth in this difficult life.
I have told you that that I am trying to be transparent, and for the most part, I have done well. But I tend to tell you about the adventures more than my struggles and weaknesses.
I mentioned above that I answered the phone while I was praying. Despite cultural and other changes, I have continued my normal practice of endeavoring to pray always, with a special emphasis in the early morning, as well as some time in the Word of God at the end of the day to clear my mind and fill it with life and the power of God. However, I need to remind you that the Lord gave me a very clear teaching several months ago that I shared with my Pressed but not Crushed group.
The teaching had to do with the relationship between our physical and spiritual lives. When we do not take care of ourselves, our spiritual lives suffer. For example, if we do not get enough sleep, our pray life is not healthy, we may fall asleep as we study the Word, we may be grouchy when we meet people, and so on. The same is true if we do not eat properly, exercise regularly, nourish our mind with healthy matter, and many other things. Our physical and spiritual lives are directly connected, as many with depression and similar diseases acutely know.
I must confess that though I have been keeping my spiritual disciplines as routine, I have found myself doing a poor job of getting all the sleep I need, of eating what I would consider a proper diet, and of setting boundaries on my time. Please pray for me in this regard. I am of little use to other people if I do not allow the Lord to meet with me as He wishes. If I am falling asleep during prayer or study of the word, I am not internalizing His Truth. I am finding that recently I have not been receiving God's teaching as easily as I was during the past year, so I need to make sure I am more aptly preparing myself to be in His presence. Thanks for your prayers. I believe that the Lord has great plans for our remaining 20 or so days in Oradea, and I want to be ready for anything and everything! The last few days I have been doing a bit better, but I hope to continue to improve!
Despite my shortcomings, the Lord continues to use me, by His grace. Not only have I had some high-quality relational time with O. and A. and others, but a few nights ago I had the privilege of ministering via translator to a man who had come to our apartment for healing. As in the past, I found the Lord giving me His word and His wisdom, and my roommate, I., even ended up leaving me to minister alone when he had to leave. Please pray for R. as he thirsts for alcohol and for love; the Lord is working in His life.
Finally, just to remind you to smile, I have to quickly mention that N. and I find ourselves in extreme disagreement over pigeons. He enjoys feeding them, while I want them nowhere near me, especially when I am eating. It is N.'s great delight to attract these feathery globs of flying pooh germs while I assure him that we are no longer related by anything other than proximate, and that that may soon change! Who knows where those birds have been?!
Joking aside, I return to the work of the Lord. Who knows what today holds? Not I, but I know Who holds it! If you do not know much about Romania, I encourage you to research a little. Look at the slideshow of a few small glimpses of its countryside. It is a fascinating land, and I have a feeling you will soon be hearing more about it as the Lord reveals His power and mercy in this place!
This blog is your opportunity to travel with me wherever I am in the world, during both the mundane and exciting moments of life that I humbly recognize as holy. As I bare my life to you, may your reading take you beyond my words to the Word, beyond my life to the Life, beyond the chaos to the Truth, and beyond teachings to the Teacher--the Rabboni. I promise it will be an adventure, and by the end, may you, too, truly know the Way!
A Rose From Home
My Story (As prepared for my church congregation this spring--2009)
I have a story to tell you. I am the main character, but the story is not about me. I have traveled several parts of the world, but my adventure has been closer to home. I am twenty-six years old. My story begins like many of yours…
I grew up going to church. I had been born into a family who labeled themselves “Christian,” in a country that labels itself “Christian.” Every Sunday found me attending a worship service and Sunday school in a mainline denomination church. I served as an acolyte, attended Vacation Bible School, helped my dad count and record the offering money, sang in the youth choir, was a leader in the youth group, and occasionally served as liturgist. Baptized as an infant, I was confirmed at the age of twelve, thus becoming an “official” member of the church. Then, hurt by the church, my family left to find another.
Have you ever been hurt by the Church?
After months of searching, we settled into a very large independent church. Things were different there, and I was quickly welcomed and at home among new friends that truly had a passion for Jesus. The Word of God was taught boldly from the pulpit, and I was introduced to a missions-aware lifestyle. So it was with regret that I said goodbye only a couple of years later to move with my family to another church. I purposely remained aloof, not wanting to make new friendships before I left for college a year later. Besides, I was loosing my faith—or so I thought—and I didn’t want anyone to know. I was asking scary questions like “Is there really a God?” and, if so, “Is He the Christian God?” and “Would I be Christian if I had been born in another part of the world?”
Have you ever asked yourself unsettling questions about what you believe?
So I headed into college under a cloud of confusion that only worsened for the next two years. Though I didn’t know what I believed anymore, I continued to go to church every Sunday, and to help lead worship in chapel. Most importantly, even during this questioning, I continued my morning habit of daily study of the Bible. I had begun at age twelve, reading at first a chapter per day, then ten minutes each morning, then an half-hour, and so on. So, only by the grace of the very God I doubted, I remained anchored in His Word and in His community, though I felt like a fake most of the time. Since then I have learned that “fake” is the worst insult the world can give us; that is why the label of “hypocrite” is so offensive.
Have you ever felt like a fake?
Six weeks with missionaries in South Africa followed by a year in France began to teach me what life with God is all about. I began rebuilding my faith, this time it belonged to me, in contrast to me borrowing the faith of my parents, church, or anyone else. In my parent’s basement in 2003, on either Christmas Eve or New Year’s Eve, I invited Jesus to live in me; perhaps I had done so before, but I didn’t recall—but since 2003, I have never forgotten that moment. Unfortunately, nothing changed. I continued to do my best to act like a Christian, as I had done for so long.
Have you ever found yourself “doing your best” to be a good person, or to act like a Christian?
Though I did not realize it at the time, I was quenching the Spirit, even though I had welcomed Him into my life. During the next few years, the LORD continued to nurture me, and slowly things began to change. Several tough months in Idaho birthed my prayer-life. I spent three years being humbled in a job that was my informal seminary training. In 2007, a short stint in Mexico helped me to see things as they were, and not long afterward, I was baptized by immersion. No baptism of any kind can save a lost soul—only Jesus can do that. However, this baptism was an important covenant between me and God, symbolizing not only my death and resurrection with Jesus and my public profession of faith, but it also my life change, the beginning of my bearing fruit. “For each tree is known by its own fruit…”according to Luke 6:44. During the past year and a half, the LORD has provided me with an informal pastoral internship in my church, teaching me every aspect of discipleship. Simultaneously, I have been studying unceasing prayer and worship. I am now very different than I was five years ago.
In the Book of Acts (which tells the story of the earliest years of the Church) every time a person decided to follow Christ, two things took place—though not always in the same order. Each person experienced a life change, which I call the “baptism of repentance,” as well as the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, which I call the “baptism of the Spirit.” Looking back, I realize that the Holy Spirit was living in me in 2003, but it wasn’t until I surrendered everything to God, as represented by my immersion, that I allowed the Spirit to have His way in me and transform my life. “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now life in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. (Galatians 2:20)”
Have you invited Jesus to live in you? Have you allowed the Spirit to transform your life?
I tell you this story for two reasons. First, I tell this story in order to boast in the LORD! May God our Father get all praise and glory forever! Second, I tell this story because it is relevant to you. Likely you have heard that I am leaving the country: I have let my light shine before you; please let your light shine within the Church, too! This congregation is in revival, and as each of you allows the Spirit to revive you, the entire Church will be revived and utterly transformed, to the glory of the Most High God. And for His glory is the reason He created us; the reason He sent His only Son to reveal Himself to us; the reason He became Sin for us and died for us on the cross—while we were still sinners; and the reason that He conquered death and offered us eternal life with Him.
It will cost you a lot—in fact, it will cost you everything, your very life. But if you have never surrendered your life to Christ Jesus, if you have never invited Him to send His Spirit into you and to transform your life, then do it right now. Just let go of everything to which you are desperately clinging; stop trying to do it yourself! This is the very reason you are still breathing in this physical life—God has been delaying His judgment of this sinful world because He is waiting for you—2 Peter 3:9 says He wants none to perish!
If you have already invited the Spirit into your life, then live like it! Bear fruit! Anyone and everyone who meets you or knows you or sees you or hears you should know immediately and clearly that Jesus the Christ lives in you and loves them! That is how stark the contrast should be between your life and the world around you!
Have you immersed yourself in God’s Word and in prayer in the last twenty-four hours?
If you call yourself a follower of Christ, then there is no excuse for not communing with Him daily! Anchor yourself in the Word! God has revealed Himself to us through His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Bible is a complete and accurate record of that revelation. And prayer is humbly letting Him love us. Let Him love you! God doesn’t need us, but He wants us! God doesn’t need us to live for Him—He wants to live in and through us! Let us love and fellowship with one another, even when you disagree! Pray for each other—the names in the church directory are a great place to start! Church, we are not only the Body of Christ, but we are the Bride of Christ. We have allowed ourselves to get bedraggled and stained—now let us stand to the glory of God! Let’s let Him purify us, restore us, and love us!
My dear Brothers and Sisters, if you have ever once been blessed by God our Father at work in me, then I urge you, please, take seriously His desire to love and work in you, beyond anything you can ask or imagine! I have told you the beginning of my story—may it end in glory to the Father, in the Name of Jesus, by way of His Spirit.
Now, what is your story?