Location: Believe it or not, a quiet corner of the lower level of Charles De Gaulle Airport's Terminal One, Paris (about 2pm local time, Saturday, 23 May)
I write to you wearing an odd array of emotions.
(Scroll down to skip a description of my emotional analysis and to read immediately more exciting news.)
I left C. at the security check for his departure not long ago. I spent a nice while in the airport prayer room after that.
Yesterday, I visited the Sacred Heart Basilica twice. (I'll try to remember to post the picture I took of my view of the Sacred Heart: not the famous white domes and walls on a hilltop, it is a picture of a vendor in the midst of a crowd of tourists above the city of Paris--with a lot of zoom you might be able to find the towers of Notre Dame on the far left of the photo. Recall from the New Testament, Jesus was not tucked away in the corner of a lofty sacred building, but among the throng of crowds outside...)
In the evening I spoke twice with my family via the Internet and webcam.
I am now the proud owner of, yes, a cell phone, or a portable (in France), a Handy (in Germany), or a mobile (in Britain).
The past few days somehow have been both relaxing and taxing, and the days ahead are full of the unknown.
So all of this stirred together makes for an indescribable set of emotions. It was a great privilege to travel with C.; God is working powerful in and through that man. At the same time, I enjoy time to myself, and the time in the prayer room was a wonderful Sabbath in the Lord. I love the view of Paris from the Basilica, but the climb and the crowds are exhausting. Likewise, it was terrific to finally connect with my family, but the time change made it a late night. It is a relief to have acquired successfully the cell phone for which I was seeking; yet I am sad to have "caved in" to the technological pressures of our always-connected world. So I am happy after ten days of blessings from Milan to Paris, and I am excited to dive into a Romanian portion of my future. It is an unusual feeling not to have a human traveling companion now, but I do love walking with Jesus! I am figuring out the cell phone, and I am wearily ready for a few hours of quasi-relaxation in the airport during the next day.
Emotions aside, my mind has been mulling over this time in Europe thus far. Some told me I would fail (which is hard to do since I do not have a specific goal). I have been rightly described as leaving on a "fool's errand," and I came knowing that perhaps I was entering a lion's den. Like a turtle, I carry my home on my back; like a homeless man, I often am unsure where I will next stay. So far, as far as I know at least, I have not been on the international news for having unwittingly transformed Europe for the better. I have not saved anyone's life, nor accomplished a heroic feat. I have not amazed crowds or evangelized thousands. I have not witnessed God's healing power cause lame men to jump up and run around, nor were fed miraculously the many hungry persons from Paris to Milan all.
Nay, but as I sleep and eat and walk and talk, what has been happening?
Yesterday, as C. and I sat at a cafe on the fringe of a crowd milling in the shadow of the Sacred Heart's white-washed edifice, the Lord brought us into conversation with two ladies at the table next to us. Without me every mentioning my Lord, the lady next to me asked if I was an evangelist. That provided me the opportunity to explain that as Christians who have surrendered to the invitation of the risen Christ, we have the distinct privilege of allowing Him to tell of His glory and love and mercy through us. We have died to ourselves, and now Christ, through His Holy Spirit, actually lives in and through us. So in that sense, we all are evangelists, wherever we are and whatever we do, presuming that we do not quench the Spirit by trying to fulfill the lusts of our flesh or fanning the fears of the world. She asked me if I had visited the churches of Paris, and I answered affirmitively. I remarked that France and, indeed, all of Europe is full of beautiful church buildings, but that sadly they are often very empty. What good is a white-washed tomb if there are only dry bones inside? How holy is a prominent Sacred Heart when it houses pickpockets and vendors overlooking raucous bellydancers and naive tourists? What good is a church building if Christians are not worshipping inside? What good is a Christian if Christ is not living freely inside?
I rather enjoyed my simple conversation with the lady next to me. And we have had many interactions with folks like that: the honeymooning couple from Dallas who dined next to us last night, the Italian duo on the turning bus whose runaway luggage I helped to arrest, the ladies we prevented from entering the men's restroom in the Zurich train station, the family who enjoyed Levi the puppet, the lady we helped to cross the street, the Korean man who joined us for breakfast at our hotel in Heidelberg, the embarrassed lady from the front-desk of that same hotel who tried to help us free our captive bags from the wardrobe, our Ethiopian friend in Milan, the two Swiss ladies across from us on the train from Italy, high-quality time with great hosts in Kronberg and Nancy, the choir members who were surprised to see me after years of virtually no contact, the waiter in the Como restaurant, the folks from Indiana we spoke with in Heidelberg, and so many more!
Of course, most of those interactions do NOT include mention of Jesus. Few people listen to a pushy preacher. Besides, it is not my job to convert anyone. Only the Holy Spirit can do that. My task is simply to humble myself before my loving God and let Him live in and through me, to reveal Himself and to bring glory to His name. That is also the role of the Church. Everyone who sees me should be able to see Jesus living in me. Everyone who sees the Church should be able to see Jesus living in Her. If you call yourself a Christian, everyone should be able to see Jesus living in you, always.
Sure, we mess up sometimes, but God gives us grace for each day. Thus, I pray for the people God puts in my path. Are any of the interactions I mentioned things that will make the front page of a newspaper or be recorded in history books? Nope! But I guarantee you that many if not all of those interactions will have consequences that far exceed anything that was done or said during those brief moments of communion with one another. And you (and I) do not have to go to Europe for these to happen, we just have to recognize them as they do. I hope that I am not so eager for Romania that I miss the persons in my life during these next twenty-four hours. I hope that you are not so focus on what will happen or what might happen or what could happen that you miss these opportunities to enjoy the presence of another human being created by God!
I am now convinced, more than ever, that the most holy, greatest moments in life are most always perceived as the smallest and simplest, if we recognize them at all. Friend, if you do not feel like you are "saving the world," take heart: a Man named Jesus already did that. Just look around and offer a loving heart, listening ear, or helping hand to the person before you. Don't look for the result--look for the opportunity!
This blog is your opportunity to travel with me wherever I am in the world, during both the mundane and exciting moments of life that I humbly recognize as holy. As I bare my life to you, may your reading take you beyond my words to the Word, beyond my life to the Life, beyond the chaos to the Truth, and beyond teachings to the Teacher--the Rabboni. I promise it will be an adventure, and by the end, may you, too, truly know the Way!
A Rose From Home
My Story (As prepared for my church congregation this spring--2009)
I have a story to tell you. I am the main character, but the story is not about me. I have traveled several parts of the world, but my adventure has been closer to home. I am twenty-six years old. My story begins like many of yours…
I grew up going to church. I had been born into a family who labeled themselves “Christian,” in a country that labels itself “Christian.” Every Sunday found me attending a worship service and Sunday school in a mainline denomination church. I served as an acolyte, attended Vacation Bible School, helped my dad count and record the offering money, sang in the youth choir, was a leader in the youth group, and occasionally served as liturgist. Baptized as an infant, I was confirmed at the age of twelve, thus becoming an “official” member of the church. Then, hurt by the church, my family left to find another.
Have you ever been hurt by the Church?
After months of searching, we settled into a very large independent church. Things were different there, and I was quickly welcomed and at home among new friends that truly had a passion for Jesus. The Word of God was taught boldly from the pulpit, and I was introduced to a missions-aware lifestyle. So it was with regret that I said goodbye only a couple of years later to move with my family to another church. I purposely remained aloof, not wanting to make new friendships before I left for college a year later. Besides, I was loosing my faith—or so I thought—and I didn’t want anyone to know. I was asking scary questions like “Is there really a God?” and, if so, “Is He the Christian God?” and “Would I be Christian if I had been born in another part of the world?”
Have you ever asked yourself unsettling questions about what you believe?
So I headed into college under a cloud of confusion that only worsened for the next two years. Though I didn’t know what I believed anymore, I continued to go to church every Sunday, and to help lead worship in chapel. Most importantly, even during this questioning, I continued my morning habit of daily study of the Bible. I had begun at age twelve, reading at first a chapter per day, then ten minutes each morning, then an half-hour, and so on. So, only by the grace of the very God I doubted, I remained anchored in His Word and in His community, though I felt like a fake most of the time. Since then I have learned that “fake” is the worst insult the world can give us; that is why the label of “hypocrite” is so offensive.
Have you ever felt like a fake?
Six weeks with missionaries in South Africa followed by a year in France began to teach me what life with God is all about. I began rebuilding my faith, this time it belonged to me, in contrast to me borrowing the faith of my parents, church, or anyone else. In my parent’s basement in 2003, on either Christmas Eve or New Year’s Eve, I invited Jesus to live in me; perhaps I had done so before, but I didn’t recall—but since 2003, I have never forgotten that moment. Unfortunately, nothing changed. I continued to do my best to act like a Christian, as I had done for so long.
Have you ever found yourself “doing your best” to be a good person, or to act like a Christian?
Though I did not realize it at the time, I was quenching the Spirit, even though I had welcomed Him into my life. During the next few years, the LORD continued to nurture me, and slowly things began to change. Several tough months in Idaho birthed my prayer-life. I spent three years being humbled in a job that was my informal seminary training. In 2007, a short stint in Mexico helped me to see things as they were, and not long afterward, I was baptized by immersion. No baptism of any kind can save a lost soul—only Jesus can do that. However, this baptism was an important covenant between me and God, symbolizing not only my death and resurrection with Jesus and my public profession of faith, but it also my life change, the beginning of my bearing fruit. “For each tree is known by its own fruit…”according to Luke 6:44. During the past year and a half, the LORD has provided me with an informal pastoral internship in my church, teaching me every aspect of discipleship. Simultaneously, I have been studying unceasing prayer and worship. I am now very different than I was five years ago.
In the Book of Acts (which tells the story of the earliest years of the Church) every time a person decided to follow Christ, two things took place—though not always in the same order. Each person experienced a life change, which I call the “baptism of repentance,” as well as the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, which I call the “baptism of the Spirit.” Looking back, I realize that the Holy Spirit was living in me in 2003, but it wasn’t until I surrendered everything to God, as represented by my immersion, that I allowed the Spirit to have His way in me and transform my life. “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now life in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. (Galatians 2:20)”
Have you invited Jesus to live in you? Have you allowed the Spirit to transform your life?
I tell you this story for two reasons. First, I tell this story in order to boast in the LORD! May God our Father get all praise and glory forever! Second, I tell this story because it is relevant to you. Likely you have heard that I am leaving the country: I have let my light shine before you; please let your light shine within the Church, too! This congregation is in revival, and as each of you allows the Spirit to revive you, the entire Church will be revived and utterly transformed, to the glory of the Most High God. And for His glory is the reason He created us; the reason He sent His only Son to reveal Himself to us; the reason He became Sin for us and died for us on the cross—while we were still sinners; and the reason that He conquered death and offered us eternal life with Him.
It will cost you a lot—in fact, it will cost you everything, your very life. But if you have never surrendered your life to Christ Jesus, if you have never invited Him to send His Spirit into you and to transform your life, then do it right now. Just let go of everything to which you are desperately clinging; stop trying to do it yourself! This is the very reason you are still breathing in this physical life—God has been delaying His judgment of this sinful world because He is waiting for you—2 Peter 3:9 says He wants none to perish!
If you have already invited the Spirit into your life, then live like it! Bear fruit! Anyone and everyone who meets you or knows you or sees you or hears you should know immediately and clearly that Jesus the Christ lives in you and loves them! That is how stark the contrast should be between your life and the world around you!
Have you immersed yourself in God’s Word and in prayer in the last twenty-four hours?
If you call yourself a follower of Christ, then there is no excuse for not communing with Him daily! Anchor yourself in the Word! God has revealed Himself to us through His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Bible is a complete and accurate record of that revelation. And prayer is humbly letting Him love us. Let Him love you! God doesn’t need us, but He wants us! God doesn’t need us to live for Him—He wants to live in and through us! Let us love and fellowship with one another, even when you disagree! Pray for each other—the names in the church directory are a great place to start! Church, we are not only the Body of Christ, but we are the Bride of Christ. We have allowed ourselves to get bedraggled and stained—now let us stand to the glory of God! Let’s let Him purify us, restore us, and love us!
My dear Brothers and Sisters, if you have ever once been blessed by God our Father at work in me, then I urge you, please, take seriously His desire to love and work in you, beyond anything you can ask or imagine! I have told you the beginning of my story—may it end in glory to the Father, in the Name of Jesus, by way of His Spirit.
Now, what is your story?